Monday, September 28, 2009

I've Missed You

Many days I have stayed in bed,
Did everything my doctor said
Took those pills but not with ease
End result.....I am not pleased!

Took matters into my own hands
Had a bath and made some plans
Bowed my head and said a prayer
Everything became very clear....

Tomorrow is another day,
Decided it will be okay
Am excited to see my all my friends
Arriving on Friday....the fun begins!

Hello my friends, I have taken my last antibiotic tonight and I am so excited to know I won't have to stay in the house, close to the bathroom all day. I have had enough of antibiotics and gravol to last me a lifetime. Seriously, I want to give my body a chance to adjust and feel better before the girls arrive on Friday. We leave for Bonnyville on Saturday and come back to my house on Monday, then they are leaving on Tuesday. Tuesday afternoon I have to see Dr. John and have blood test done. If I still have an infection I will do what he says and go back on the antibiotics. I won't mind as there is nothing I have to do until I won't worry about letting anyone down and my not feeling well will only affect me and not anyone else. I am okay with this.

I was able to make it to our hospice committee meeting early this evening. I'm not sure how productive I was but we were able to make some plans and divided the work up so that each of us has something to do and put together before our next meeting. We only have six families who are registered for assistance right now, and being the only lay person I am limited to what I can do but I am looking forward to meeting with these families, it will be my job to encourage discussions about their fears and what help they will be looking for from our team. I will call each of them to see how they are doing and ask if they have questions or if I can help in any way, even if it's to guide them to the others who have the experience they may need. My main objective is to let them know they can talk with me, tell me their fears and assure them what they tell me will be kept confidential unless they say I can discuss their problems with the others. I think I can do this, and with God's help I will. Everyone is worried about the cut backs here in Alberta, this makes me angry. The people's illness are not aware of the economy or the politics of it. They deserve the best treatment, care and understanding available and I know with the wonderful people I am working with they will get it. It is so important that these families know we care about them and their situations. I know we all will do the very best we can.

The next week will be quite busy for me, am not sure how much time I can give to blogging with preparing for my friends and going away for the weekend but will check in as often as I can okay. Thank you for all your prayers and support, love and good thoughts for all of you.

Good Night and God Bless..........many, many hugs:-)


Eileen said...

Well, I'm glad this treatment is over, and hope your body rids itself of the ill effects quickly!
So good of you to make that meeting even though you weren't feeling well, Bernie. It's so like you!
And it all sounds so interesting, and must give you a lot of peace and happiness to know that you can be of help.

When you talk about cutbacks, is that because it's a government-run program and the government is cutting back on costs? Or is it a private run program?

I'm glad you have a wonderful weekend to look forward to! Enjoy your friends and your happy plans! And tell us all about it when you get the chance!
Rest up this week.
And get back to posting whenever you can.
Love you, Eileen

The Retired One said...

As much as we all would miss you, why don't you post a post that says "be back on Wednesday..taking a blogging break!" and not post for a few days? The rest will do you good and you will be stress free...don't worry...we love you and will wait for your won't lose any of your loyal readers...
Get well, get rested and enjoy your friends...
love ya!

Bernie said...

Hi Eileen, well my treatment isn't exactly over I have stopped taking the antibiotics on my own. I just can't take feeling so ill knowing I have so much to do right now.
The health program I volunteer for is not a Federal Run Program, it is run by the province (I think it's something like your medicare) not sure though.
How is Jayden doing in school? Give him a big hug, Mia looks so sweet in your profile picture.
I am really looking forward to the girls arriving on Friday, wish you could meet them, tons of fun especially after a glass of wine and when we go down memory lane it's hilarious....Luv ya.....Hugs

Bernie said...

Oh Joan you are so sweet, I will do just that if I find I can't keep up, I promise. I really got a chuckle out of your state laws tonight, am still chuckling over it, see how much I would miss you.. LOL.....luv ya....:-) Hugs

Teacher's Pet said...

Bernie.....I literally took my bottle(s) of antiobiotics and threw them across the bedroom one evening when I just couldn't take one more pill....(That's soooo not like me)....but that's the way I felt....that if I took one more of them, I was going to die anyway. I told Jack,"No more, please!!!!....I'm going to die taking these things." And that's when he took me back to the doctor and the doctor changed one of them. It was making me sicker than the illness itself. I think it was the Tetracycline (large mg of that one, too) that was doing it....I was taking another strong one antiobiotic along with it...and I literally couldn't sit up....all I wanted to do was throw up...(excuse the graphic wording...) but I know how you feel my friend...and I want you to ask the doctor if there is something else for you. My doctor searched the Physician's Desk Reference at length because I am allergic to penicillin and couldn't take that...and I definitely couldn't take the massive dosage of Tetracycline that he was giving me...I have never felt so close to death in all my life (this was back in March....and I had been already hospitalized) and he sent home with those antiobiotics. Ugh!!! Talk about sicker!!...I don't even want to think about it.
I am worried about you...and I don't want you to suffer. Take some time from blogging...whatever it is that you need to do in order to take care of you.... I'm praying right now for you...and I hope that you feel better soon.
"God, please take care of Bernie....and bless her."
Love you so much,

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Bernie, Oh you are so thoughtful to stop by...I saw your post earlier...and wanted to come by to comment...but I promised my family that if I returned to blogging that I would only comment twice a week...I've used up one of my days, and planned to comment again mid-week...But don't know if you will be here then, or away from your blogging so I will sneak in a quick note...You have been much in my thoughts...I'm so sorry that you've been so sick with the antibiotics...they are terrible!!! I hope and pray that you will not need any more! I didn't realize you worked with have a tremendous role!! Your comforting words and presence means so much to the families you work with!!!! I know...I remember what the hospice volunteers meant to me when I cared for my mom! God bless you, Bernie,especially for all that you do for others!!!! I pray He takes extra special care of you...Someone needs to look out for our Bernie since she is so busy looking out for everyone else...You are a treasure!!!!! Have a wonderful time with your friends!!! Relax and enjoy...we'll see you when you have time and are up to it again! Love you, Janine XO

Margie said...

Hello Bernie
Only have a quick minute to say "hi".
Was gone all day and just got home and need to get in bed as so exhausted.

Oh, I enjoyed your little poem.

I know you are going to have a fantastic time with your friends.

Don't worry about blogging, just post when you can.

Do take good care of yourself, dear.

Good night, sweet dreams!



Bernie said...

Jackie, you are so sweet, please don't worry, I'm not that bad. I just have a hard time with medications and antibiotics are especially hard on my disgestive track but I am well enough to take care of myself and even do a few things.....gravol settles my stomach but makes me sleepy and then I am not happy if I have these unproductive days. I love you for caring and your prayers, talk soon......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Janine, so good of you to stop by but it's more important that you take care of you right now. Yes I volunteer with hospice, have been involved with counselling ever since my breast's something I love doing.
I am so looking forward to my friend's this weekend, we were all together this summer as well. We have been friends since grade school so they are pretty special.
Now you rest, stay well and know you are loved......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Oh Margie, I wanted to talk with you today. How are you? I am okay, and will be much better once these pills get out of my system. I hope to talk with you soon, not to worry my friend, my doctor knows my plans and he agrees I should enjoy my friends and if we have too we will try and again next week. Hopefully we can catch up tomorrow...Luv ya....:-) Hugs

Tranquility Speaks said...

I wish you a speedy recovery and I hope you are taken off from the strong medicines.

It was wonderful to know that you are a part of the hospice committee. May God bless you and the families who look to you for assistance. Take care Bernie

Wanda said...

Good morning Bernie...You must have posted early and I was posting later than usual last night...Your poem was so well written Bernie, I loved it, even though it made me take pause concerning the antibiotics, was relieved after reading in a reply, that your doctor was aware of your stopping. It's bad enough not feeling well, but an upset digestion track makes one's daily life impossible!

It is nice visiting with friends from early childhood...something else we have in common Bernie. Mine all came here for our December get together last year...maybe this year too...10 women talking and laughing makes one feel good! So enjoy their visit, but still take it pretty easy...don't drink too much may get too roudy! :)

Just like when you went back "HOME"...we will be here when you return Bernie...Take care!

Loving Friend,

Diana said...

Good morning Bernie!
I will be happy for you when the antibiotics are done. Jake has had some nasty reactions to them as well. He can't stray far from home while on them. But the question is , are you feeling any better? And I do hope you start to before your weekend with your friends. Good luck to you Bernie. You should be getting mail from me by next week. I am going to the post office today or tomorrow and don't know how long it will take to get there!
Take good care Bernie! Love Di

Gail said...


I SO admire your service to others in need. And given the fact that you are not feeling 100% yourself it make the giving and help and comfort you provide even more humbling.
I am glad you took your last antibiotic - My stomach doesn't react well either!
I wish you hours of joy with your friends and memories that bring you much happiness and peace.

Love toyou

Brenda said...

I do hope that you feel better soon.

It is interesting to hear about your Hospice work. I just read Izzy and Lenore by Jon Katz. I don't have dogs but my walking partner has a Border Collie and Izzy is a BC and my stepdaughter has a Lab and Lenore is a Lab. So I decided to read it and was really touched by all of his stories about Hospice. I think you might enjoy it if you have not already read it.

Rebecca. Harlan, IN said...

My sister's father-in-law died this past week. I attended the memorial service yesterday where the pastor praised the Hospice Team highly! (The family also expressed their thanks in the printed bulletin handed to each of us). You probably know, but you need to know that many, many OTHER people know how valuable the Hospice service is.

I say "ditto" to all the others who have expressed their concern before me. You see how special you are to us. My prayers continue for you today.

Valerie said...

You're going to have a much better time with your friends now you've laid off the ABs. When you go back to see the doc,if he wants you to go back on them ask if he can change them for another sort. Most docs here will do that if what they prescribe upsets the system.
Oh Bernie, working in a hospice must be heartbreaking as well as rewarding. I do admire you.

Bernie said...

Hi Stillness, I am better thank you, how are seem so busy lately but that can be a good thing sometimes. Hope all the rains have stopped......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Good Morning Wanda, I am so relieved to be off those pills, I managed some toast and tea this morning and so far so good.
I am looking forward to the girls on Friday, and next weeks looks to be quite busy as well. It seems something gets added every day so I don't have time for all the trouble I am having with medications.
Has it stopped raining in Ohio? How did your lunch go with your friends? Hugs to Alivia....:-)Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Diana, you know I only had to take antibiotics a couple of times my whole life and now these past couple of months it seems as though I have been on them forever, they just don't agree with me....have to figure something else out should I need them again as I find this too hard. Looking forward to your letter, Hugs to Katie.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Gail, I get far more out of my hospice work than I could ever give. I love these people, they are so appreciative of what we do and so kind ...... I always learn from something from each of them.
I am not going to take antibiotics anymore, we will have to work something else out for me should I need them again as they are far to hard on my system......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Brenda, thank you so much for recommending the book, I am going to look for it as I think I would really enjoy reading it.
I love my hospice work....these people and their families are amazing and I learn far more from them than anything I do for them, there are times I want so much to do more........:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Rebecca, thank you for your kind words.
Sorry to hear of sister's father in law's passing. As a hospice volunteer believe me when I say everytime someone passes we all need time to get over it. We grow to love the patient and their families very much. It is very rewarding work for all of us. Have a wonderful day......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Val, I so love the beautiful people I meet with hospice, they are amazing and our team always keeps in touch with families as we have a memorial service every year. It is rewarding and sometimes very sad but I will continue it as long as I can.
Oh I did have a rough time on those antibiotics, not sure I will put myself through that again my friend......:-) Hugs

Anonymous said...

Oh dear Bernie, I have become so used to seeing your comment each day I will miss you. I can tell you are such a giving person. You answer and comment even when feeling bad. I know you will do what is best for you. Please just don't overdo. I have worked with terminal patients of course, as a nurse, but the volunteers are the wowies. I have never had cancer myself in 72 years and do not see myself ever having it. I know something will get me, but 72 years is way past my mom's age. I fell so blessed Blessings to you and your friends. Thanks for your kind words about my art.

Bernie said...

Peggy, I will be around off and on sweetie as I miss my blogging friends as well. I haven't forgotton your 5 words, (they are written down) and I will do them soon I promise......:-) Hugs

Choices said...

Hi Bernie,
I haven't looked at my blog the whole weekend, but now I am responding to your blog. I was teaching today, so this was the first chance I got to come to your post. Loved your little poem. It was so cute.
I hope you are feeling better. Take care of yourself and rest and relax. Get back to your posting whenever you can, your blogger friends will be here.

Mary said...

Bernie, you are really an amazing woman...your concern for others while not feeling well yourself shows your compassion and selflessness. I hope you have a wonderful week-end, a wonderful visit with your company, and that God will touch your and bring you back to a healthy already have such a wonderful spirit. I hope you can get enough rest while also having much enjoyment over the next week and beyond. Bless you, Bernie...take care of yourself.


Bernie said...

Anne, I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I am feeling a bit better today thanks....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Mary thank you for your kind words and prayers.....the most beautiful gift ever. I am feeling better today.........:-) Hugs

Margie said...

Here's a little poem for you, Bernie ...

May there always be work
for your hands to do
May your purse always hold
a coin or two (LOL)
May the sun always shine
on your windowpane
May a rainbow be certain
to follow the rain
May the hand of a friend
always be near you
May God fill your heart
with gladness to cheer you.

Sending you hugs.
Take good care of very special YOU!


Bernie said...

Margie, thank you, no one has ever written a poem that is entirely for me....I love it....luv you xo

Rose Marie Raccioppi said...

ABSOLUTELY love your poetic affirmation! Yes, taking things in our own hands - the power to be well becomes yours to receive. GREAT going dear Bernie.

Enjoy your visit in totality! Cheers for all the love you share.

Margie said...

You are so welcome, Bernie
So glad you loved it!


Tranquility Speaks said...

I have grown busy you are right. My work hours are such. I'm away from home for almost 11 hours at times, including travelling time!

The rains haven't stopped yet. Just when we think they have, there is a huge downpour!

Bernie said...

Hi Stillness, I am sorry that you are so busy, I hope you are taking care of yourself. I miss you very much but I certainly understand when you are putting in such full days.
I am away for the weekend, will catch up with everyone hopefully on Tuesday.......:-) Hugs