Friday, October 9, 2009

An Angel On My Shoulder

Hello my friends, it has been a long day and tonight I am tired. It started with a phone call from my doctor, I had to go and see him before I went for my cortisone shot. The day was cloudy, windy and cold. As I sat about getting ready I said a prayer that it wouldn't snow and that the highway would be clear and also added a PS to my prayer that I wouldn't be in between tons of traffic while in the city.

Just as I was going out the door the phone rang and it was my dentist office, reminding me of my appointment on Tuesday and that my dentist wanted me to take an antibiotic before they do what they have to do......Unbelievable! I asked her if there was a sale on antibiotics or not as everyone was trying to get me to take them. When she learned I was already on one she said I didn't need anymore. Thank you God for that blessing.

The wind was brutal as I made my way to the dry cleaners, grocery store, bank and filled my car with gas. The sky was dark and eerie even though it was only 11 o'clock.

My doctor changed my antibiotic to a stronger one and for no reason I started to cry. Now he has been my doctor for 10 years and has been through everything medical with me but he has never seen me cry. I was just so frustrated with all these infections, test and antibiotics and I was feeling terrible as I had to cancel my hospice visits for next week. I had two of them but until I am finished with these pills I have to stay close to home. I guess it all just caught up with me, he was so sweet and said "Bernie, you are only human and anyone who has gone through what you have these past few weeks would feel the same way," and this is what made me smile, he said "I would feel the same way if it were me" We both laughed at the same time, anyway for one who said she wouldn't complain anymore only yesterday I sure blew it today.

I then drove downtown Edmonton, my least favorite thing to do, no problem at all. Had my shot and made my way antibiotics in hand and a small envelope with 2 pain killers to take when the freezing came out of my spine. I brought in my groceries and dry cleaning and put everything away and within ten minutes of being home it began to snow. It is still snowing now and is -10.

Terry called and we chatted for an hour and she had me laughing within minutes. I am so looking forward to her coming in next week. We were laughing about how swollen my stomach is and wondering if they make maternity clothes for 62 year olds....honestly I look like I am 9 months pregnant, okay I am exaggerating maybe only 7 months.

Tonight I am so warm and cosy by the fire watching football. I am only a bit uncomfortable and have no pain. I am counting all my blessings, a doctor who cares, no traffic while in the city and the snow holding off until I arrived home. Yes, there was an angel on my shoulder today. I have a clean warm home, lots of food in the cupboard, a beautiful fire in my fireplace and as of this moment my team is winning the football game. Oh life is good.

Okay I am going to start over, as of more complaining.

Good Night my friends, love you all and God Bless.......:-) Hugs


Bernie said...

I don't know what you are battling but I am happy for you that you are content today and things went well for you today. We just have to take a day at a time which is such a worn out phrase, sometimes it irritates me. Seems like there should be more one could do that just that.

Snow already! Oh, I am not ready for that yet.!!!

Jerelene said...

Hi Sweet Bernie!!
I think there is more than one angel...I bet there are lots of sweet ones hanging around know they love sweet people!! You have been in my prayers and I think of you often and I'm hoping you start feeling better VERY soon! I'm sorry that you cried...I know sometimes we just get overwhelmed don't we? I can't even imagine how overwhelming it is going through everything as you have been.
I can't believe how cold and snowy it is there...I love snow though..and would love to have a fireplace to enjoy too!!
Sending really BIG hugs up your way!!
Love, Jerelene

Bernie said...

Bernie, thank you. I think that is why I was so frustrated today as no one seems to know what I am dealing with or how to are right, one day at a time is all any of us should do.
Oh yes snow and more snow tonight. Hope you are well my friend..Hugs

Bernie said...

Thank you Jerelene, I did have a pity party today but am feeling much better tonight. Thanks for the prayers and I agree I am surrounded by angels, especially my blogging friends. We have never met yet I feel so close to all of you and it's a good feeling.
It is very cold here tonight and its snowing lightly now, we are suppose to get flurries for the next few days.....early for snow but I really don't mind it. Hugs to Sam......:-) Hugs

Kay said...

doesn't sound like complaining to me...oh sweet thing, you make me crave the winter (although i dispise it) you make it sound warm and cuddly and cozy, even when you do have a rough day(s) take care, you, and keep that chin up :)

Granny on the Web said...

I am sure your guardian angel is on your shoulder at all times. He had better be there on duty or else! I will be on his trail.
That little cry may have done you the world of good, sometimes I find it helps. I haven't half the problems you have with health, and your daily optimism gives me such a boost.
Hugs Bernie
Love Granny

Blessings each day said...

I wish I was there for you to cry on my shoulder, Bernie and to give you comforting hugs and then make my 'magical' cure all home made chicken soup!

Tears are a good release valve when so much frustration builds up and things go wacko. For a long time I used to think I had to be stoic and hold it all in, but God taught me better in the many retreats I have gone to, so tears are good (unless they go on for hours of course and your carpet starts getting soggy)!!

I do keep you in prayer everyday so I am glad those angels are doing their job!

Plus, everyone loves a party so a pity party isn't such a bad thing (unless the neighbors three doors down can hear you wailing or complaining).

blessings and comforting hugs and prayers,


Wanda said...

Good morning Bernie,
You have Angels on your shoulders and prayers in your pockets from all of us to keep you company...and crying is not complaining releases stress, just like laughing, it is good for us.
And speaking of tears flowing, that's just what happened while watching several taped Grey's Anatomy episodes in a row in order to get caught up, I have one more for today! I know you like the series too, so will think of you while watching.
Snow makes me feel safe and cocooned in my home...creating such peaceful scenes for us to view, so enjoy the snow and your sports by your fire, while enduring the antibiotics Bernie.

Hope they do the job without being too harsh on your body and spirit, but complain to us if you want, we won't tell anyone.

Luv and Smiles,

Gail said...

HI BERNIE and Happy Saturday -

I am so amazed at your ability to always find the positive even when you are immersed in challenges.

Yur doctor sounds like a great guy - that is so important. :-)

And you have something to look forward to with Terry coming to visit next week.

I hope you are able to tolerate the antibiotics with little consequence. Let the warmth of the fire surround you and may all your sports teams win!! :-)

Love toyou

Queenmothermamaw said...

Bernie I am a firm believer in crying. When I was a working nurse, anytime someone cried, when I was working with them, I felt complimented. If someone can cry in my presence, that means they trust me and know that I will respond in a helpful way. You are fortunate to have a confidence in your doctor that would allow you to cry. Have a hot toddy while snuggled up and cry some more. That is my prescription for pent up frustrations and a little anger too. Thanks for sharing.

Valerie said...

Bernie, if you want to sound off do so. It's better that than bottling it up inside. You have plenty of bloggers waiting to give you hugs and help you through the bad times, the way you help everyone else. Now come here and let me give you the biggest hug xx

jinksy said...

Tears are a wonderful safety valve when the pressures buid up! And I've nearly always found they're followed by laughter, often from unexpected sources. So never be ashamed of a good old winge and a tear or two! Love 'n' hugs - thermal lined! xxx

Barb said...

Dear Bernie,
Remember that there is always an angel on your shoulder. It's really not complaining when you tell people who care for you how you feel. It's good for both your body and your spirit to release negative thoughts and unhappiness. All of us feel them sometimes. Thankfully, you have many people who care for you who can listen and help you feel better.
It's snowing both in the mountains and here in Denver. Our Grandchildren (Amanda, Ben, and Jack) are going to come around Noon and say overnight with us. Tomorrow, we'll take them for brunch and meet up with our youngest Grands, Neve and Caden. Bob's Dad just left yesterday to fly back to FL after spending 10 days with us. I'll be traveling back to Breck early next week.
You are on my mind Bernie - I send you many postitive thoughts throughout the day.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Thinking of you....I am always blessed by your blog...

I have a great giveaway on both my blogs that will be given away this weekend....and all you have to do is hope you will stop by.

Now I need to get up and get a few things knocked off my to do list.

Bernie said...

Hi Kay, having a much better day today my friend and it is still very much winter here, very cold with flurries. I am glad to stay in by the fire.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Granny, I have felt better ever since I have let those feelings out, I am having a lovely day today inside as it is so cold with snow flurries, really a winter's day....thank you for your prayers Granny and I know my angel is with me all the time....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Oh Marcy I feel your hug even though you are not here. I am doing better today my friend, and am happy to be warm and cosy inside as we are having a cold blast here in Alberta, lots of snow flurries.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hello Miss Wanda, I am doing very well today and am really enjoying watching the President's Cup...go USA!
Oh Grey's Anatomy is so good, and yes I shed tears especially when George died.
We are having a real winter's day here today, very cold, windy with snow flurries.....Love you....:-) Hugs to Alivia

Bernie said...

Hi Gail, I am handling the antibiotics as well as I can sweetie, and oh yes I have the best doctor ever....I am having a better day today, thanks Gail for your kinds words, you are such a sweetie......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Peggy, I think the tears helped yesterday as I am having a better day today....counting the days to when I am done these pills and yes I will absolutely have a hot toddy then......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Oh Val, loved your hug. I am happy to say I am a bit better today and happy to be inside as it is a real winter's day here today....have a great weekend my friend...:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

jinsky, so true....tears are oftened followed by laughter, that happens a lot with me. I don't think a good cry hurts anyone once in a while....luv ya...:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Barb, I love my angel and I always know he's there. Sounds like fun with your grandchildren. Your FIL must of found quite of difference between Florida and Denver for sure......have a great weekend my friend....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Teresa, thanks for your thoughts, good luck with all your work getting ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas.....:-) Hugs

The Retired One said...

Remember, Bernie...all those lovely people who you have helped pass over all these years during your hospice work?
Well they are right beside you, now, holding your hand and helping you with strength and invisible hugs.
Take it one day at a time and know there are others both on the other side and this side who love and care for you.
{{hugs}} and stay warm!
We had snow here this morning (just a dusting, it has already melted) and hard winds all day long.
I am with you, staying snug inside!

Teacher's Pet said...

I want to be there, Bernie.
I want to be there with you...and your post made me want to do that even more. I think that we villagers should load up and travel to Canada....whaddya think.
I love you, Bernie.
I mailed you a little something yesterday....First time I've ever sent anything to Canada. :))
I hope that you are having a good day today...I hug you from here....please feel that hug.
Much love,

Diana said...

Oh Poo Poo Bernie! We all have only so much we can take at one time. Tears are a way to release that tension and stress. So I am glad you had a good cry! But I feel so bad that you have to go through all this stuff! But maybe this will be it for the winter. Maybe you are having all of the trouble at one time and getting it out of your system! So that's what I will be praying for. That and the postal system!
Last night would have been a perfect night here for a fire in our fireplace. Yes Katie and I were daydreaming about it last night. I am still waiting for my son to bring the wood!
Love Di

Sniffles and Smiles said...

You can vent as much as you like, dearest Bernie...that's what friends are listen, and give you a shoulder to cry on...We love you so very much!!! Praying that this new round of antibiotics will finally do the trick!!!!! Love to you, my wonderful friend!!! ~Janine XO

Rebecca. Harlan, IN said...

I try to picture you up there in all that snow! They're saying we might get some frost tonight...I'm so cold already! Can't imagine getting through the winter, but I know I will :)

I've cried my share of tears this week. I cry when I read something encouraging, I cry when I think about some situations, I cry when I hear some particular songs....

So I was relieved to read many of the comments on your post extolling the benefits of a good cry! "Tears are a language God understands" was a line from a song many years ago

So glad you have a good visit with Terry to look forward to! You'll be good for each other :)

And we'll all be here, too!

Eileen said...

Sorry, I'm so late, Bernie!
And I don't think you were complaining at all! Tears are not complaints, Bernie.
I'm glad you cried, I'm glad you had an understanding doctor, and I think maybe you were able to flush out a little of the frustration you're feeling. I think it's God's way of renewing us, I think sometimes tears are the building blocks of fortitude to move ahead.
I love your spirit, Bernie.

I wish we were all closer, but even without being nearby, I know first-hand how the village uplifts and supports. I'm glad we have each other.
Feel good, Bernie.
Continue to count your Blessings.
And vent to us whenever you feel the need! We love you!!
Love and Prayers,

Bernie said...

Hi Joan, I am feeling so much better today emotionaly but physically still have a way to go. I have had a blissful day as it was so cold outside with flurries off and on all day. I have been very content with my fireplace and good sports. I am getting lots of rest and feel all will be well. Love you for caring.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

I wish you were closer as I would give you lots of wood, my fireplace has been going all day and it is so warm and cosy inside. We have had such a cold day with high winds and snow flurries...a great day to enjoy all the things I love....don't worry sweetie I am looking forward to Tuesday as I am expecting your letter and one from Tommy....something to look forward too. Stay warm, luv you....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Oh Janine with all that you are going through you shouldn't have to listen to me vent but I can honestly say I am feeling really okay today emotionally especially, I just have to learn with my limitations right now and hopefully I will be fine in a few weeks, God willing. Love you sweetie, stay strong and be well..
....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Eileen, you have to be the sweetest person ever, right at the top of my blessing list are my blogging friends, poor Wanda I complain to her so much but she always sends smiles and warmth to my heart.
I had a good day today, tomorrow will be better..Love you and hugs to Mia and Jayden.....:-) Hugs

Garnetrose said...

Hi Bernie. I am sorry that things are not going well for you. You have been through so much. Much more than many of us could stand. I think there are alot of angels surrounding you and praying for you. I will be thinking of you.....God Bless...

Bernie said...

Garnet, thank you sweetie, I have been thinking about you a lot lately, how are you doing. I am better today and very thankful for it.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Jackie, thank you so much, just knowing you care means so much to me. You are so kind and have had so much on your own plate lately you don't need to worry about me at all....I have so many blessings and yesterday I did feel sorry for myself and I'm sorry as I didn't want to upset you. You are so sensitive to all our feelings but I love you for caring. I have started my letter to you but haven't finished, hopefully it will be in the mail on Tuesday as there is no mail on Monday because it's Thanksgiving. Love you my promise me you will stop worrying about me, honestly I know I am going to be fine, this is just going to take a bit more time and patience on my part. Have a great weekend.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Rebecca, I think it did me good to cry yesterday and even to vent my feelings but I don't like to think I have caused anyone to worry. I am so blessed to have a strong faith and so many family and friends who love me....this is what I focused on today. Cry when feel like it my friend, and if it is God's language than him and I had a great talk yesterday....Only tears today were of gratitude. Hope your husband is still doing well, have a wonderful weekend and I pray for your husband's sermon to go well as I'm sure it will...take care.....:-) Hugs

Tranquility Speaks said...

I am going down one post at a time...I know you are well..but I still don't understand the reason for the swollen stomach and stronger antibiotics...May God lay his healing hand upon you and relieve you of all your ailments! Loads of love

Bernie said...

Hi Stillness, not even my doctor knows why I have infections or why my stomach is swollen....I just know in my heart all will work out. I know you have been busy but it is so good to hear from you. Luv you......:-) Hugs

Kathiesbirds said...

Bernie, so sorry for your pain and the need to take antibioticS! I hope you eat lots of yogurt to make up for all the good bacteria they kill! I hope you are feeling better now. So glad you made it home before the snow started to fall.

Bernie said...

Hi Kathie, yes I am feeling better thank you and I am eating lots of yogurt and drinking cranberry juice....thank you Kathie for your concern...Hugs