Sunday, June 14, 2009

Quiet Sunday

Hello everyone, I do hope you all had a super Sunday....mine was as it should be "quiet" The temperature on my deck was 43.....unbelievable I know but oh so soothing.

First I want to thank everyone for their kind comments. They were so warm, uplifting and soothing. I was thankful that I was able to journal last night as it was too late to call anyone when I got home, it was nice to be able to write about it. I didn't last night nor did I today read over last night's blog. I just got it all out, now I will now let the words just "be".

I wasn't able to fall asleep until after 4am this morning. My mind was full of chatter and my heart was heavy with sadness. Today, I realize that I did all I could and am at peace with the world again but still feel the sadness. My sister, Sheila called me at 7:30 am. So good to hear her voice, she said, Babe, "you wanted to help that woman and you did." Thanks Sis your words mean so much to me. We talked, for an hour and I wish I could remember all of our conversation but I was so tired and went back to sleep right away. I did manage to go to church at noon and lit a candle for my favorite patient and his family. This family will need many prayers in the days ahead.

The day has passed and I slept through it off and on. I just couldn't keep my eyes open. It was very hot today, I needed to wear crocs when walking on my deck as the wood was too hot to the touch. This evening I watered my flowers and plants, and wouldn't you know there are a couple of shoots coming up where I planted my gladiolas. I had to smile because to me it was a sign of life. I love it and I am excited to see how far they will grow through the soil as I am still not sure if I planted them in the right amount of it. My hanging baskets are beautiful, I couldn't believe how full and pretty they were today. The flowers smell so good when watered as I get to smell the earth as well.

I managed to use my glider for 20 minutes tonight and I am really looking forward to Curves tomorrow. Funny isn't it, as just after 2 weeks I feel sluggish when I don't exercise. I look forward to the girls and laughing along side of them. I know that I am the happiest and content when I am smiling, enjoying life when I can, not only help people but their happy, caring personalities help me to be the best person I can be. We all need each other.

I BBQ'd kish kabobs tonight for supper, beef chunks, peppers, onions and mushrooms. I BBQ'd two but after eating one I was full. It was delicious and I will have the other one tomorrow for my supper.

Am off to read my favorite blogs and comments......Good Night my friends and God Bless you for each and every one of you are special, especially to me.


Stillness Speaks said...

The sadness at your end is palpable. It feels pathetic to loose someone you liked so much. It must be hard for your friend's wife and family as much as it is for you. At times, even though you aren't related, you feel a very strong connection, and even though we know that death isn't the end, and we will see each other again, the heaviness in the heart cannot be avoided.

You've a heart of Gold Bernie, to be able to feel so much for your friend. I wish there were more like you :)

You're right, writing about it always helps. Am glad you didn't keep it to yourself and shared it with all of us. Your sister is right Bernie, you did as much as you could. There wasn't more that you could do. I feel so sad to read all this, and wish I could be of more help!

No matter what happens Bernie, life has to go on. Someone leaves for his or her heavenly above and the same day, same minute another life is brought into this world. It's nice to see you involved in something as uplifting as tending to your plants. It's very therapeutic :)

Loads of love to your Bernie. Take care!

Anonymous said...

Hi Stillness....I read your comment on Bernie's Blog (On My Own)and I wanted to stop by your blog and say hello. I am new to blogging...and I was touched by your kind words to Bernie. I could tell from her latest post tonight that she still carries a sorrow with her; that is understandable. Words like yours are such a comfort. Thank you for sharing them....and sharing a part of yourself as you did.

Silver said...

Came by and read about your friend. You're such a kind soul.

Your dinner sounds delicious! Hope you have a good week Bernie!

Wanda said...

Your quiet Sunday was just what you needed Bernie to take in and digest what you've been through...and seeing life in the gladiolas is like a goes on and renews itself.

The gladiolas may need to be tied up at some point for support when they are in full bloom...even when planted in the ground, they need staked sometimes because they are so top heavy.

I certainly know what a hot deck floor feels like to bare feet. The left side of our deck out back is where I have the cherry tomato plants...HOT...but maybe therapeutic...IF YOU WEAR SOCKS !!!

You will get hooked on exercise Bernie...the flexibility it gives you has so much to do with the way we physically feel...loose and free in away.

Enjoy this new week Bernie.
Smile and take care!

Eileen said...

I remember so many times in your blog you would mention that your favorite patient had wished his wife would come talk to you, or talk to him about what was happening. And I remember you wished there was some way to reach out to her. Well, you did, and at a time when she needed it most.
I just feel that everything worked out the way it was supposed to work out. God's Plans are always the best.

I'm glad you had a restful day, you needed it. And I'm glad that your resolve is to get back into the swing of things.
I love your positive attitude, it's very uplifting to me.
Love and Prayers,

Diana said...

Alright Bernie, even tough it's morning I started to day dream about those shish kabobs. Wish I could have been there and we could have shared!
It sounds like you needed some time to reflect and relax yesterday.It's a good thing that you did Bernie, seeing your patients wife through the ending. She needed that and maybe in some way you did too, or you wouldn't have been sent there.
I am going to work out this morning Bernie. Wish me luck, it's been awhile!

Bernie said...

Hi Stillness. again I thank you for your kind words. I am well my friend and woke up this morning refreshed and looking forward to a new day.Have a great day sweetie,

Bernie said...

Oh Jackie I am sorry, I think I published a comment ment for Stillness and not me. I should of read more closely before pub. Have a great day Jackie.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Thank you Silver, We are having such beautiful weather it would be hard not to enjoy the week, and I hope you have a wonderful week as well......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Wanda, I did have a much needed quiet day yesterday and was so excited to see the little shoots arriving, and yes I did take it as a sign of life. We have to move forward my friend as you well know.
I wore crocs on my deck but may try the socks today as they are calling for sunny days until Thursday but my body tells me there is change in the air. Have a great day my friend....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Eileen, thank you. You are so thoughtful and kind. I do think everything works out the way it is suppose too and in this case God allowed me to be a part of somthing for a reason, I'm not sure what it is yet but perhaps it was to help his wife as well as help me develop more patience for those who won't accept the "real" happenings in their lives.I have always been frustrated with people who live in denial. Have a great day my friend....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Diana, I too am off to Curves in a few minutes. Am so looking forward to it. Take it easy at first but I know it will be worth it. It has done wonders for me not only helps weight wise but I think even more it has helped my flexability....Enjoy the day my friend....:-) Hugs

Blessings each day said...

I always feel like saying Helllooo up there when I am all the way at the bottom here (yet another crazy redhead thing!)

Bernie, I see much more in your long awaited gladiolas finally showing through the my heart, I feel it is a gift from your special friend, thanking you for all the love you gave to him and his family. I feel that God allowed him to help those gladiolas push through and make you smile and see that newness and life is always with us.

This is more than 'just me''s from Him, as it came to my mind immediately as I read about the gladiolas.

And yet another mouth watering dinner by just keep on inspiring in so many ways!

blessings and hugs,


Bernie said...

Oh Marcy you are always up front in my book. Thank you for your kind words my friend, I like how you think, I felt it a sign as well.......Have a great day my friend,.....:-) Hugs

Teresa said...

Hi Bernie,
Praying for you and the family...(((hugs))) T

Bernie said...

Thanks Terri, I am very well today and I feel pray is the best gift I have ever received so I absolutely thank you for that.....Good Luck today my friend....:-) Hugs

June Saville said...

You did so well Bernie. A valuable friend.

Take care.
June in Oz

Annette said...

Bernie, Thank you for your wonderful comments on my blog. It felt so nice to read your comments and the others'. I hope you had a good day and relaxed. Enjoy your kabob? Funny word, isn't it? Have a good night.

Anonymous said... problem about the post. It was my fault. Maybe Stillness will read it over here.
I continue to think about you and hope that you know that you touch many lives in such a special way.

Bernie said...

June, thank you. I am blessed with so many wonderful friends, it is a pleasure for me to give back if and whenever I can......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Annette, so happy to read your comment. Your right kabob is a funny name but oh do they taste good. Hope all went well for you today, I am sure it did as you were so well prepared. I love that about you, working hard to give pleasure to others.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Jackie, thank you for understanding, I now read each comment before I publish, so I learned something. I do hope Stillness reads your comment. I am sure you and her will enjoy blogging together, and I know you will make many friends with your beautiful photo's........:-) Hugs

Stillness Speaks said...

Hi Bernie and Jackie. I just read Jackie's comment here and on my own blog. We didn't have electricity all day, so I could respond only now. Let's not worry over something this trivial :) Thank you so very much Jackie, for all the appreciation. I really really hope it helps Bernie, even if in a small way :) Take care both of you :)

Bernie said...

Oh Stillness I wasn't worried sweetie, I did feel I had opened someone else's mail though. Thank you for your kind words, you truly are spcial my friend....:-) Hugs

The Retired One said...

You know Bernie, you have to give yourself some time to grieve too.

Every Hospice Nurse has a "debriefing" with colleagues to help express personal grief over the loss of each and every patient. Otherwise, your heart gets too heavy to help the others.
Give yourself permission to feel your feelings and let it out.
He understands.

Bernie said...

Joan my friend, this is so true. Everytime someone leaves our lives there is a void. We never fill it, only acceptance helps. It does take time and I have lost so many in my life time, my husband, my son, my know Joan I think one always continues grieving especially on their birthdays, annv. etc I don't know why but I still continue to love and enjoy life anyway and I thank God for that....I'd hate to sit in fact I have to learn patience as I do get frustrated with people who wouldn't know a problem if it hit them but still sit around complaining, and feeling sorry for themselves....Sorry about that my friend...just venting LOL. Thank you for caring.....:-) Hugs