Tuesday, October 27, 2009

What is Wrong With People

Hello my friends, what kind of day did you all have? The weather here couldn't make up it's mind......freezing rain, snow, freezing rain, snow then rain....this continued for most of thee day and the temperature was around 0 or a little below.

I was back at my volunteer work today, and I was so happy about it. Our course, living with chronic pain and terminal illness is a wonderful course for those who suffer with disease and for their family members and care givers. We had 5 patients today, 4 with chronic illness and one terminal with cancer. The course began well, and I was pleased to meet everyone and finally be back doing what I love to do. This was the second week of the six week course and I went in early to meet with the RN who brought me up to date with every one's charts and I thought we had a group of people who would and should blend well together and they did.

As we were finishing up I asked who if any had received the H1N1 flu shot....well did I open Pandora's box or what. They all started talking at the same time and all of them were complaining about the long line ups and not being well enough to stand in line for hours on end. I agreed and felt strongly that they shouldn't and so did Danielle (RN) as we chatted about their frustration Danielle went into her office to make a phone call to see if she could arrange to have someone come to our clinic and give our patients the shots or see if she could pick up some vials to inject them herself....we do have a large area and work together with many others who give the same course. Anyway she was told they would find out what they could and call her back. She came back and explained what was going on and I noticed a few people were fidgeting....(now remember we had 5 patients who all had someone with them today so together there were 13 sitting around the table. One couple had their eldest daughter with them.) I don't know why but I asked if we could arrange for them to have the shot at the clinic who would be there to receive it.... NOT ONE was planning on having the flu shot but all of them were complaining about the long line ups, the government not having enough nurses available to administrate it.... I was dumbfounded. Danielle and I just rolled our eyes at each other and she went in and called our central office and cancelled her request. Now my question is this, if they had no intention of even taken the injection why were they sitting there, expending good energy complaining about something they had no intention of using anyway. Why do people do this? Do you think people feel if they can't complain or blame someone about an issue they don't have anything to say....so, so sad. With everything we are providing for them, at absolutely no charge, the nurses provided to them and home care to help them in their home and they are still complaining. I know it is not their illness as we had such a good productive afternoon with them and all of them were willing to discuss and share their situation with everyone at the table, which did have a lot of complaints but these were honest and reasonable complaints, these people are ill and one is seriously ill, these complaints I totally understand but to complain for 15 minutes about long lines to receive a flu shot that they had no intention of even getting now that is a different story.

God forgive me but both Danielle and I tried to explain to them that their illnesses suggested they were in the high priority group and really they should reconsider and have the shot....well that just got them going again. Finally I said well people its your bodies and you have every right to refuse this injection, if you wanted it we will do everything we can to see that you don't stand in line, perhaps even have someone give you the injections here but it's a lot of work for someone so if your sure you don't want it then we won't bother.....and none of them wanted it.

I understand how they feel about the injection, I really don't want it either but was going to get it because of them, I don't want to get the flu and pass it on to them...... but I know one thing. I will not complain about not being able to get it, or stand in long lines or complain no one knows what they are doing if I have no intention of getting it.

Sometimes I don't think I will ever understand people, but I know I will keep on trying to understand them and I will be back with them all next week and in the meantime I will pray they don't get the flu.

Good Night my friends and God Bless......many, many hugs....:-)

46 comments:

Tranquility Speaks said...

I can certainly understand where you're coming from. When people are frustrated/ irritated/ upset/ angry, they can generally not think straight. And someone else's frustration and anger comes out on someone else altogether. Forgive them Bernie. You did the best you could. What you are doing is something very very noble. Keep going!

cinner said...

Oh Goodness, that would just be annoying Bernie, Sometimes people complain I think just to hear themselves talk! I like yourself just don't understand. Take care my friend. you are wonderful to be volunteering Bernie.

Alice said...

Sometimes I think there is so much negativity at every turn these days, ie. on the news, in the newpapers, every talkback show, that it becomes almost second nature to complain.

Although it's interesting that even when you pointed out all the pros and cons, they continued to complain about something they were not going to utilise.

No wonder you're shaking your head in amazement, Bernie.

It sounds like you do a great job for those in need. Keep up the good work, Bernie, despite some strange responses.

Valerie said...

I think the older we get the less hassle we want. I heard today that there are no symptoms after the swine flu shot, I'm not sure if it's an effort to persuade people to have it. You're doing a grand job there, Bernie.

Wanda said...

Good morning Bernie,
I wonder if people's frustrations, complaints and rants about things is their way of releasing emotions they don't express otherwise, like in journaling, being creative or just being open and speaking their positive feelings as in complementing someone. Some people seem unable to express themselves in any other way than finding fault with others.

There's always something in life that any one of us can complain about and should complain about, that's life, but I don't understand people that apparently find nothing good to say about anything at anytime. So unhealthy and sad!

Maybe your group was just having a bad day and being sick as they are must not help. Your outlook of accepting what is and finding something to appreciate in the moment is a good example for anyone Bernie!
Luv,
Wanda

Blessings each day said...

Bernie, you are just too cute...I love how you talked about this and i can actually picture you and the nurse being dumbfounded. It is crazy, isn't it? It's like someone complaining that their shoes are too tight as they walk and walk around in them even after someone offers them comfortable shoes!

All along I have thought of your classes as taking place in a classroom setting with desks and all, so it was neat to hear that it is at a table. What if there are alot more patients, is it a really big table?

That was SO sweet of you and the nurse to try to make things so convenient for them. Fortunately you did ask them or how frustrating would that have been if you had gotten it set up and then they said no??? This is when a soft nerf bat would come in handy to just gently whack them over the head to see if you could knock some sense in!

You ar a cutie for sure!

blessings and hugs,

marcy

Eileen said...

It is strange to hear people complain just for the sake of complaining. But I think sometimes they complain about 'nothing' things, or complain about things that don't really matter to them so that they don't have to concentrate on the reality of a situation that is devastating to their lives.
I guess it could be too that they are embarrassed about not wanting to get the flu shot, so they use the excuse of long lines or they complain that the vaccine is unavailable, and then when this nurse took those excuses away, they probably didn't know what to do.

Or maybe they are the type that like to complain just for the sake of complaining. Some people are like that (myself included sometimes!).

It is mind-boggling though to have a conversation where a problem is given attention, a solution is found, only to find that no problem existed at all!

So glad the group seemed to work well together otherwise!
Have a great day, Bernie!
Love to you, Eileen

Diana said...

Hi Bernie,
I read your post to Jake and he said to remember that in general people are idiots and to keep that in mind and you'll be all right.
I wish we had the shot available here. There are none. And the hospital is full of people sick with H1N1. I worry so much about Katie and Jake getting it. But that doesn't help either. But I do know that if we could get one , we would!
Love Di

Rebecca said...

What'cha gonna do?! Bless you, Bernie, for your optimism and willingness to help people who need it.

I personally haven't bought into the panic that seems to be going on about this. Maybe I need a little more education, but colds and flu are and have been a part of life. There are ways to avoid them and ways to cope when you have them. People are getting sick BEFORE they're sick here just worrying about BEING sick!

May God continue to give you (and all of us) patience and a sense of humor to meet all the "irregular people" that cross our paths.

Doesn't it make you wonder how GOD puts up with ANY of us?!

Anvilcloud said...

I think some people think they're happy and/or clever when complaining. They're wrong.

wendyytb said...

Hi Bernie! I am becoming a regular visitor here!

I think that it has become the norm to complain. We are never happy, it seems... Some people are afraid of what is new. I work in a Nursing Home and I will be getting the shot. Sure... I am nervous of the side effects HOWEVER I think we should be grateful that so many have worked for so long to develop this vaccine. ALSO...getting the shot is a privilege in our part if the world. We should be grateful

Margie said...

Hi Bernie
There will always be people always complaining about something ... guess it's just human nature.
I can certaintly understand your being upset about that whole situation though.

Wishing you a very good day my friend ...
I'm heading to work in a little while ... can't wait to see the little ones!

Hugs

Margie:)

Gail said...

HI BERNIE-

I SO understand your frustration. And I SO admire the work you do to help those less fortunate. And I also think that people's trust in government has been betrayed so the N191 is an easy target to encompass folks anger and fear. Also, I think people like to know they have options - and not that they can't have it because of a shortage but rather because they choose not to. I Know it all sounds so trite and certainly does not make the complaining any easier to deal with. I totally understand your frustration.
Love Gaail
peace......

Queenmothermamaw said...

Bernie, I think that folks like this feel they have little control of their lives and are not involved in the issues of the day, so to have some opinion, maybe not a real experience, they just repeat what they have heard from others or in a news report. They all desperately need to feel they have some control or imput into current social issues.
Psychology plays a big part in the care of folks with chronic and terminal diseases. You will be able to say exactly what they need to hear.
QMM

Bernie said...

Hi Tranquility, yes I think this flu thing gives those who are angry a chance to vent...I do enjoy being with these people and the course.....Luv ya...:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

cinner, I love my volunteer work, it's something I have done for almost 20 years now but not always with hospice.....have a great day my friend.....:-) hugs

Bernie said...

Alice, you know when I want a day free of stress I don't watch or listen to the news or even read my newspapaer....I take a day off every once in a while just to get away from the negativity...Hugs

Bernie said...

Val, I think it's important that everyone check with their doctors and then make an informed decision, some just take what someone says to them and run with it without any knowledge, so sad really......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hello Wanda, you are right, I just found it amazing after having such a good 2 hours together when I brought up the flu shot ....their reaction was so negetative even if we had a solution....nothing would of pleased them about the subject. It is sad, why anyone would waste the energy is beyond me....Hugs to Miss Alivia.......:-)

Bernie said...

Hi Marcy, yes we are in the Board Room of the clinic, we can make the table to different sizes, it allows us to use our flip charts, and videos etc and everyone feels more comfortable in a circle. It is an excellent course...loved the idea of the soft nerf bat, there are a few times during our courses we could use it, especially on the patients caregivers who don't seem to "get it"......Luv ya...:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Eileen, it is a great group, they just stumped me with their reaction, I do think people are angry today and are looking for a way to let it out on anything.
Have a great day my friend....Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Diana, thank Jake for the chuckle.....Oh I do think Katie should definitely have the shot, it is affecting the young people so much this Fall that it is very scary.....how is Jake and how are you doing? Luv ya......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Rebecca, I think I am one of the irregular people....I do have a concern over the young people, we just lost a healthy young hockey player (13) who took sick on Friday and died on Monday, it works very fast when it attacks the lungs...so sad.
I am blessed to be doing volunteer work I love, somehow in some small way I feel I can make a difference.
Have a wonderful day Rebecca...Hugs

Bernie said...

A/C, so true.....it is so much fun to see the postivie over the negative...life is just better this way......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Wendy, welcome back, I will pop over to your site today. It is sad to think the norm today is negativity.....I just won't allow myself to go there even though I do believe you are onto something there. It's up to us to put something positive in everyone we meet or at least try...have a great day my friend.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bernie said...

Margie, I was more amazed than upset....they had a problem and we were trying to find a solution for them, and they would of rather complained than even consider the solution....we both found it unbelievable.
Hope your knee is better....Hugs

Bernie said...

Gail, I think you are right in that people have anger and much fear today, so sad really but I still will try and reinforce the positive. People do need a place to vent always, that I understand but when there is a solution, they would still rather complain. I was amazed that they would rather complain than accept a solution. Never upset, just amazed.....Hugs

Bernie said...

Peggy, I think you are spot on with your comment....they are looking for a way to control something, anything concerning their health and perhaps this flu shot was it.
Have a great day.....:-) hugs

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Hello, Bernie! You are such a gracious and merciful person!!! I am all admiration!! It is so difficult to understand people at times, isn't it? I know, though, that you are making a real difference in people's lives!!!! God bless you for it, my dear friend! I know He will!!! Love to you~Janine XO

Teacher's Pet said...

Bernie...I wasn't there...but knowing you as I feel I do, I think that those people know that they had someone who would listen to them...that person is you. You are a caring and loving person...Some people don't have anyone to talk to or vent to...and some people just love to 'talk'...You are such a good listener, I'm sure they couldn't 'resist' :))
Just my thought...
Love,
Jackie

Choices said...

Hi Bernie,
Some people just like to complain, that is how some people are. It's too bad because there are so many positive things to talk about -Why complain! They are lucky to have you, Bernie-you are such a positive influence.
Keep doing what you are doing.
Take care.

Barb said...

Because you are a positive person, it is sometimes hard to understand the negativity in others. Unfortunately, you can't just walk away from these complainers since you are volunteering your time to them. It's an unhealthy situation for them - don't let their clouds rain on your beautiful sunshine, Bernie.

The Retired One said...

I agree Bernie...it is very odd behavior. I hope they saw what had just occurred and understood the message that they shouldn't have spent time complaining.
To me, don't complain unless you have or can share a constructive way to the solution. Just because folks are sick does not excuse them from being humane and kind.
You did the right thing to call them on it and then let it go if they did not want shots....
You do such good work, they are lucky to have you and the R.N. caring for them.

Diana said...

Hi Bernie!
I just posted everything. And the health department called today and said that Katie could come and get the H1N1 shot on Nov. 9th. They gave Jake a regular flu shot in the hospital. It seems that we just got the H1N1 in our area. I'm trying to figure out how to get one for Jake. He can't wait in line that long.
Love Di

Bernie said...

Hi Janine, so glad you are feeling better, I'm still going to keep praying for you though.
I have a wonderful group of patients this course but have to say they did kind of shock me with the flu shot spin....oh well, it was just another of many challenges one faces really isn't it......Luv you.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Jackie my dear, I don't think I was a very good listener yesterday, but I did learn something....people sometimes need to vent and complain even when a solution is right in front of them. It's okay as I had to smile about it today, wonder what next week will bring.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Anne, thank you but I too feel lucky to have them, they are really nice people who I learn so much from and boy did they teach me a lesson yesterday....not all want a solution they need to feel they control at least something when they are suffering from the pain they have. It did throw me a bit but I understand a bit better today......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Barb, I think I was born positive so I don't think they can or will change that. When I thought about it this afternoon I kind of think they are not well and feel perhaps their life is not their own anymore and once one started venting everyone did. We will do better next week hopefully.
Thanks for your encouragement my friend....:-)Hugs

Bernie said...

Oh Joan, I fall in love with all our patients but they did make me think something was off yesterday. I felt better about it this afternoon....it is their bodies, their life so they should be able to make the choice but I still have to have the shot to be a part of the program....go figure eh! All is well, luv ya.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Di, in our area anyone who has a chronic illness is entitled to the shot and with Jake having these problems especially COPD he would certainly qualify here. I am glad Katie is getting it soon, we have many infected in Alberta and Toronto's hospital has double it's patient intake in 5 days, it is the young ones they are losing which is so sad. One young boy, 13 wasn't feeling well on the weekend, his mother, a nurse took him to hospital on Sunday and he passed away Monday, this boy did not have an underlying condition. I find it scary as this virus can change form so quickly and with this boy it attacked his lungs. So happy for you that all is working out finally, I know there is not point in telling you to rest and not work so hard but I am anyway.
Take care...luv ya....:-) Hugs

Brenda said...

Goodness! Isn't there enough valid things to complain about? Perhaps when life is so hard, it is easy to give into a doom and gloom perspective on all areas. I am glad that you can bring some joy to their difficult situations.

GrandmaK said...

I know what you mean...Three of us talked a friend into having the shot last year. She finally succumbed and got it. She developed symptoms and insisted she got it from the shot...Tried to explain that her symptoms could have been worse if she had not gotten the shot. She says she'll not get another.

You can only do so much! You know there is that silly "free will!" :)

luv ya!! Cathy

Barb said...

Dear Bernie,
I'd be pleased and honored if you'd share the philosophy of ONE GOOD THING! Thank you for asking. You are the perfect person to "pass" the idea to others.

Bernie said...

Barb, thank you. I am going to write it into my lesson for next week....luv ya, xoxo

Gloria said...

I spent some time in hospital in London, England recently and the treatment I saw being given to the nurses from some of the patients was truly unbelievable. The nurses had to endure being shouted and sworn at. I just couldn't believe my eyes and ears!!!

Yes, it appears that some people do like to complain. Guess it gives them something to do that they're good at? Thank God there are people like you in this world. Thank God!!! I can see that many many people agree with me, if the number of comments you get are anything to go by:)

Hope you'll have time to visit my blog:) http://gloriacarringtonferrira.blogspot.com/