Saturday, November 6, 2010

Mixed Emotions

Hello my friends, I have missed you. My world has been filled with so much this week and I am quite please to see the back of it.

I have had a week of emotions, up and downs, it was the anniversary of my son’s death and I always find this to be an emotional time. I realize this isn’t about my son but about me and how I feel……once I let go and let God take over I was fine. I cannot change any of the past so I was pleased when I finally remembered the years he lived and all the love we shared......I stopped focusing only on the day he died and focused on the day he was born and how my heart was overfilled with love and happiness.

I had 2 cortisone shots in my spine this week, yup they were painful but I am feeling so much better today. It was so worth it. Ahhh life is good without pain|!

I lost another friend to cancer this week, perhaps it is my age but I find that more and more are falling to this horrid disease. I am glad they are no longer suffering but my heart aches for those who are left behind. I know how hard it’s going to be to make the adjustment of not having their loved one in their life. I don’t like to see anyone in this kind of pain but I also realize only they can walk through their grief and as much as I care I know no one can do it for them. It is not about what happens in our life but how we react to it. We all deal with grief differently. So my heart, love and prayers go out to all who are dealing with grief, I love you but more important God loves you.

Our weather has been lovely but today turned quite cold. I am sitting beside a delicious fire and watching my favourite sports. I have 2 TV’s side by side watching football and hockey and up to a few minutes ago I watched Curling on my computer………..okay so I am an addict……My name is Bernie and I am totally addicted to sports. If you like sports this is a great time of year…….ummmm maybe that is why I love Fall so much. Today has been fun.

Fallon called last night, she is off school next week.  I only wish I didn’t have such a full week ahead of me or I would have her here with me but Monday I am going to a holistic doctor (I know, expensive and for what) Tuesday I am joining two friends I use to work with for lunch and then Wednesday after a hair cut I am heading to the mountains for 4 days with friends who are so special to me…….have I told you how blessed I am. I will be back on Saturday. Thursday we are taking part in a Remembrance Day ceremony at Rocky Mountain Legion.

It was brought to my attention not too long ago, a friend or who we thought was a friend has started a new blog under a different name. Why? Her writing is the same, she has the same goals, problems and family as she always had……why do some people think betraying their loyal friends is the right thing to do. It is not, and those who were faithful followers, who tried to encourage and help her, are left bewildered some even hurt by the betrayal. Personally I wasn’t hurt, it is her business but I was disappointed that she would think she could fool us……we were not long figuring out it was the same person. The lesson I have learned….those that are unhappy and miserable are going to be that way no matter what we say. They enjoy being miserable and its as though they have nothing to talk/write about if it is not about how unhappy they are, they enjoy complaining, and seeking out compassion and attention. Sorry, I won’t play this game, there are  many who truly have problems who need our help.  I have also learned to appreciate the warm, caring and honest people in my life. They are real, and though we may not always agree on everything we respect, love and truly care for each other, have any of you had this happen to you after almost 2 years of being blogger friends. I am pretty sure we are not the only ones who have been mislead.

My cleaning friend came in this week to do my floors, so tiny so cute and she works so hard. Her husband came to pick her up and I smiled as I watched them say hello to each other. He helped her as much as he could and she so appreciated it…..they really love each other and it showed. I am so blessed to have met this young couple, we help each other in many different ways. (well they help me and I tip

I am off to enjoy a full week, November 11th is Remembrance Day, so I will fill my week surrounded by people I love and spend Thursday remembering all those I love who have gone before me, especially my husband who spent 25 years in the Air Force. I so miss him.

Have a great week everyone, God Bless and many, many hugs……:-)


wendyytb said...

Many hugs back, Bernie!

MommaMindy said...

I am so sorry about the loss of your husband and your son. I was just thinking today how we never just deal with a trial all at once, we may be introduced to it once, but we have to relive it and reface it over and over and over. May the Lord give you strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.

Thankful you are feeling more relief from the pain. Enjoy the Lord's day tomorrow, as you remember Him.

Bernie said...

wendyytb - thank you. Love my hugs always....:-)

Bernie said...

MommaMindy - how are you sweetie. Yes I have my burdens but I am also blessed with so much in my life, so pleased to say that the cortisone has worked.......:-) Hugs

Donna said...

You are in my prayers. You have become such a wonderful blogging friend to me and always know the right things to say. You are so right we have to focus on the time we had with our loved ones and remember the good times we had. I know my life will never be the same.
Glad your back if better and I know you will have a wonderful week :)

Barb said...

What a week you've experienced. The lose a beloved son is more than I can imagine, Bernie. How sad the date must be for you - I send hugs to you, my friend. Also, I shudder at the thought of injections into my spine, but I'm glad if they've brought you relief. I've recently switched to an Integrative MD - I like him very much. He spends a great deal of time talking with me when I have an appointment, and he has made some good suggestions that a traditional medical DR might overlook. So, I hope your holistic experience will be positive. Have fun in the mountains, Bernie - hope it doesn't snow! Keep warm.

Kay said...

emotional week(s) indeed! I feel blessed to have not lost anyone close to me as of yet, and think I have grown wise enough and seen enough pain through others' loses, that I THINK, THINK I know I could/can handle it with pose and grace.

sigh. Guess you can be my #1 role model :)

I do hope you enjoy your weekend getaway! always a wonderful thing!

about the blogger, well, I think it's sad. I have, however, learned of bloggers that switched up because of one or two particular people, not the whole, that they were "running" from...

Guess that's the crazy thing about blog friends, how much is it that you can fully understand, when you only get a very small piece of them?? and how much should truly be revealed?

Blessings to you!

Cinner said...

Bernie, oh I just want to give you a hug. I can only imagine how much you miss your son and your husband. May God keep you strong. Glad you are on the way to the mountains. I am off to Calgary and coming back on Thursday. I Will miss my treadmill. lol. I am so sorry about your friend passing, so sad. I ran into a friend of mine on Saturday and he has cancer. It was very sad to see, but we had a nice talk. I think that is horrible that this person would pretend she was someone else. very strange, not sure why people do this. Maybe I have my head in the clouds and did not even notice. have a great week. it sounds busy....the cortizone should help you for quite awhile, althoug it must have been very painful. hugs Bernie, enjoy, your a blessing to alot of us.

Bernie said...

Hi Donna, I thought of you this week, hope R is home from hunting and you are back to your routine.
My back is really good tonight. Have a great week....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Barb, I am looking forward to seeing this holistic doctor, he may be able to advise me on some things to help build up my immune system.
I am looking forward to the mountains my friend and I shall think of you when I am there.
......-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Kay - twas a bad week, but everything seems upright today. Ahh
life is all good and right with the world.
Perhaps you are right about the lady who changed blogs and didn't identify herself her friends left comments, perhaps she just wants to start fresh but nothing really changed for her.....oh well I am away from it now.
Have a great week....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Cinner, have fun in Calgary, your tread mill will be waiting for you.
I do miss the men in my life but I have accepted their passing and carry them in my heart always.
Not sure what "she" was up too, not even sure I should of said anything but it is what it is.
It is cold tonight, hopefully it won't be to bad when your away but I always find it warmer in Calgary than Edmonton......:-) Hugs

Anonymous said...

That's a lot of pain, Bernie. But being grateful for what was, and what is, helps us along. Keep smiling, Bernie.

shadowlands said...

You are a good example of grattitude for what is, and acceptance for what isn't. Two things I struggle with, on a daily basis.

Thank you for your witness Bernie. God bless.

Ros (hugs)

Twain12 said...

sending you all my love Berni and after the hard time i hope you have a great time in the mountains.
This years remembrance day will be a little different because our legion burned down this year..almost the whole town comes out for the parade and then a lot of us go to the legion where we enjoy free food and the pipe bands will play again. This year they will have the gathering on Base. My husband just goes to the parade and then goes to my sons grave and has a shot of my sons favourite liquor with him, sometimes some friends will join him and one of them will play the pipes.
I wish i could have you here in person so i could give you a big old are an inspiration ♥

Anne H said...

That blogger story really touched me....
I think I got too involved in Blogland recently.
And when things like this happen,
(like a train derailing)
I took it way way way too hard...
When there are "real" things to do in "real" life
Blogging is real because the people are real who blog.
Pain is real - emotional, and physical....
Glad you are finding relief in both camps.

Rebecca said...

It was good to catch up with you, Bernie. You HAVE an a week of mixed emotions. I'm happy to hear you're on the "other side" of the physical pain...and that your sadness was balanced with good memories.

The "mountain retreat" sounds SO inviting. I know you'll enjoy your friend's company as well as the beauty of God's creation.

Re. your blogger friend who changed identities, guess that serves as a warning to recognize the potential for deliberate and/or unintentional dishonesty that exists in this kind of format. We can all afford to be a little wiser without becoming cynical, I guess.

Praying that your holistic professional will be able to shed new light on your personal health and well-being. Here, too, it pays to be wise...

Have a blessed & satisfying week, Bernie. You are special to me and many others!

Blessings each day said...

November is a tough month for me too, even October 31st, for the birthdays of three beloved ones who are in Heaven now.

This is why I have stayed in (as well as helped out with)some sort of grief group since my beloved Mario died seven and a half years ago. Our Consolation ministry at church meets twice a month.

My favorite thought to share with the grief process is that it is something to go through, NOT get becomes a part of a 'new normal' for our lives.

blessings, hugs and joy to you always, my friend!

Anvilcloud said...

You nailed it when you said that some people enjoy being miserable. I know it's an oxymoron, but it's true in my opinion.

Going to the mountains? AM I permitted a wee dram of envy?

A two-tv sports addict? Who woulda guessed?

Brian Miller said...

you have had quite the emotional week heavent you...sorry on your losses...i agree cancer sucks and should be wiped bernie you do have it bad for sports...smiles. i hope you have a marvelous sunday....

Donna's Book Nook said...

You really have had a full week, full of sadness and joy. Many hugs and blessings to you this week.

Wanda..... said...

Bernie, what a heart breaking time for you. I'm glad you found comfort in the memory of your son and the love you both shared. Wish I had known, but no words could have helped, I imagine. Glad you have such strength within to deal with the emotional and physical pain of life. Wish our mutual friend had the strength to deal with her problems and move on to a better place.

I remember your 'curling euphoria' from last year, it's wonderful to enjoy something so greatly. Have fun in the mountains and will think of you on Thursday, being at the Remembrance Day ceremony.
Take care...Wanda

Bouncin' Barb said...

What a great post Bernie. You can hear the positivity even when talking about such tough topics. Much the same as I do. Can't imagine being so miserable day in and day out. Just isn't me. Have a wonderful time next week.

Jackie said...

Good morning Bernie,

Hugs and Prayers to you. What a week you've had and yet you have a wonderful positive outlook. You are an inspiration.


daylily (Queenmothermamaw) said...

Your compassionate heart puts you in the service of others and near those in need. Those who serve that way are so close to God along with the person who passes on to be with Him. I know the feeling. Around my mom and my sister's birthdays and anniversaries I feel their presence so much stronger without even knowing the date. At least when I changed my blog I tried to let all of my followers know, that is the ones I could remember the addresses for. I am still searching for some of them. Enjoy your week. Blessings

Choices said...

It sure was a hard week for you. The loss of a son is something you never get over. I know too well, for my brother and sister in law lost one of their children 4 years ago in a kyack accident. On those days, I do feel for them.I was with my brother when he got the call from my sister in law. His birthday and the anniversary of his death are so very hard for them and their two other children. They all will never forget, but just have learned to cope and think about the things that they are blessed with. As you have, too.
Glad you are feeling some relief from you pain.
Keep warm and enjoy the games.
Smiles to you.

chasity said...

good morning bernie~
i'm glad to hear that the shots helped. i hope they find something natural for you that works just as well.

my heart goes out to you on this anniversary. i'm glad you were able to focus on the happy moments of life.

it's so important to use these trials to mold us into something better and more faithful or our life is wasted.

you are a constant inspiration to me and my family!


Diana said...

My Bernie but you are a sports addict aren't you? Nothing wrong with that, it's sounds as though you are were having a good time! I'm happy to hear that you are going to have a get-a-way soon. I hope you have lots of fun and laughs along the way!
I am anxiously awaiting Ginny's homecoming so I have lots to do around here to keep me busy.
I know how much those shots hurt Bernie but the after part is so good! I hope the new doc can be more helpful for you.
And Bernie, I am so sorry about your heartache this week. I will keep you in my prayers along with many others! We all need them don't we?
About that blogger, all that I can say is that I felt hurt.
Love Di ♥

Maggie May said...

I am so sorry about your son. I really didn't know that you'd lost a son. That must be really difficult.

Glad the cortisone worked.

That blasted cancer seems to affect us all....... sorry about that friend.

I cannot understand why people change blogs either.
I guess I am boring but mine stays the same!

Stay as you are, Bernie..... at least some people never change.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Anonymous said...

Hi Bernie! I wrote a long and rambling comment, and I am not sure if it went through or not, so here I go again! Please feel free to delete this one if it is a replicate!

First of all, I am happy to hear that you have a fun filled week ahead of you. That is wonderful. And I am so, so sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I always think that the grief a parent feels at the loss of a child must be the most profound of all. It is out of the natural order of things for a child to die beore a parent - how do we ever come to terms with that? I am so, so sorry.

Bernie, I am one of those bloggers who is guilty of changing sites. I did it for very, very personal reasons and I have to tell you, it has been a "freeing" experience for me. It was something that I needed to do. But I never thought about the impact of my actions - I guess that I was being very selfish - and I appreciate you expressing so eloquently how the actions of one impact many. I do not regret changing sites, but I do regret that I may have hurt people along the way.

Have a wonderful week in the mountains. Next to the ocean, my favorite place on earth is the mountains!

Stay well.

Karin said...

That emotional roller coaster in our lives, eh! I'm very glad to be able to 'feel' the joys and sorrows, the heights and depths. So glad that you feel them, live in them, grow through them, yet don't allow them to control your life. And in everything - our gains and losses - the Lord is at our side. Trust you'll have an amazing Sunday and a great week ahead. Blessings!

Cherrie said...

Have a great week with your friends! My prayers are with you!

Gail said...


I know how powerful anniversaries can be - as we prepare to honor my sister's son's passing in combination with my Mom's birthday. Like I wrote - it is a collision of forces. I SO admire your strength and journey as you moved on from your losses. I am humbled by your hearts expressions.
Glad the cortisone shots helped - I get the in my lumbar joints, hip, and knee - Good Lord - isn't getting old grand? :-)
Now, may I ask, who is this blogger that switched blog-names. I am quite curious.
SOunds like you have a full and fun week my friend - I so love hearing of your outings AND your upcoming four ddays in the mountains sound so wonderful.
I love you Bernie

Bernie said...

Valance - so true but I think everyone has pain in their life....Hugs

Shawdowlands - it is what it is and took me a while to get here. So glad you are back with us my friend...:-)Hugs

Twain - I remember being told about your legion burning down. It will be missed this year. Thank you for the hug - I got it.....:-) Hugs

Anne - we make close friends blogging, we get to know each others families, what foods they like, it just happens, then when one of them leaves with no notice and shows up on another blog it makes for hurt feelings. It is not anything one should take personal but it is hard to ignore......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Rebecca - yes it was a rough week, I am glad to move on this week for sure.
At first I was bewildered by my blogger friend and now I am just glad I am no longer involved with her, I feel bad for the others as well as we didn't deserve what she did.
Have a great week......:-) Hugs

Marcy, grief is something everyone goes through eventually, I only wish I didn't have to experience so young. It will be a rough time for you as well but we both it will pass and only good memories will surface. Have a great week sweetie...:-) Hugs

AC I absolutely believe there are people who enjoy misery....perhaps it makes their life easier but I sure wouldn't like.
I love the mountains, it will be a nice time for sure......:-) Hugs

Brian life is good again (just a bad week) but I am so looking forward to the next few days, I love the mountains. Yeah I love sports....Hugs

Donna - back on track now, went to Mass this morning and celebrated all souls who have gone before me. Always makes me feel better. Have a great week.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Wanda, sorry I didn't e-mail but I just wanted time to work through my emotions. I am better now and so looking forward to a few days in the mountains. I read in one of your comments that you had snow yesterday. It has turned cold here.
Hope you are snuggled in by the fire with herhusband, will e-mail before I leave on Wed. Big hugs to Alivia and of course to you my friend....Hugs

Bernie said...

Bouncin Barb - we are blessed to be able to move through our rough times aren't we. Have a great week..:-)Hugs

Hi Jackie, all is well with the world now. Big hugs sweetie

Peg - we all were aware when you changed blogs, you let us know. What happened in this case was entirely different. Yes I do think when we have walked through the pain of grief and come out the other side it changes us and mostly for the better. We have much compassion for those who hurt....:-) Hugs

Choices - I have no idea why but this year's anniversary was very difficult (I think it is because of losing 2 friends to cancer recently) who knows but I am happy to say all is okay now. Have a great week my friend.....:-) Hugs

Hi Chas, gosh I think of you and your family every day. All of you are in my prayers, I do hope Shauna is doing better, her burdens have been so great. I am hoping the natural way may help me and I am happy to say I am doing so well today. Many prayers for Shauna and big hugs to you and your family...Hugs

Bernie said...

Di - you have to be one of the most accepting people I know, even with all your pain you keep on doing good things every day. Your dining room looks great and I know the happiness you feel when Ginny comes home. It will be a great Thanksgiving.
As far as the other is concerned Di I think she is not well or stable, she needs our prayers and will get them but I have chosen not to give her any more of myself than I have. Life is too short for that mess...Hugs

Hi Maggie, life is not always as it seems, but in my case it is really good today. How are you doing? I do understand Maggie when people change or make a new blog but not to inform her followers who had supported her for 2 years is wrong if not even deceitful....I am glad to be away from the whole scene.
Great roast my friend.....:-) Hugs

Audrey - people do many things for personal reasons but I believe there is a right or wrong way to do this. In this case there was no need to deceive her friends, we would of understood. Have a great week my friend.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Karin, I so agree with the roller coaster and how we can enjoy the ups and downs of life - it shows we have a life doesn't it, but I would prefer to have all my loved ones with me all the time, a bit selfish aren't I? Have a great week my friend, and stay warm. It was freezing out there this morning when I went to church, mind you I went to early Mass.
.......:-) Hugs

Cherrie - thank you, have a great week as well.....:-) Hugs

Gail I don't like these shots but I am grateful that they help heal the inflammation. Yes getting old is not for sissy's but it is still good. I am really looking forward to going to the mountains. I know this is a hard month for you so I am keeping you close in my heart and prayers.....:-) Hugs

Victor S E Moubarak said...

Greetings Bernie,

I am praying for you right now.

God bless.

Bernie said...

Victor, thank you I so appreciate your prayers.....:-) Hugs

Teacher's Pet said...

Hello Bernie....
I wish I was closer. I would give you a hug. You are a sweet and loving the truest sense of the word. I am thinking of you, Bernie....I love you, my friend.

GrandmaK said...

Wishing you the grandest of weeks. You have such a way of making us all appreciate what we have and so it is that I am thankful for you!! Cathy

glenda said...

Hi Bernie,
I don't know how or even when, but somehow you got off my radar.
I wasn't seeing your posts, I'm sorry. You're such a sweetie and encourager. This was like a sweet letter from an old friend, and I loved it.
I'm so sorry about your husband, and losing a son is not the natural order of things, it has to be very hard for you. Was he an only child.
I gotta run, gotta be somewhere in a minute...
I love you, and always look forward to seeing your smiling face on my blog...

Tranquility Speaks said...

Hey Bernie :) So nice to read you again! I apologize I haven't been around lately, but it felt wonderful catching up with you :) It feels like coming home to all of you :)

I'm sorry for emotional upheaval you've been through lately. You've made positivity a habit and it shall see you through it all.

You're one of the most compassionate people I've encountered. God bless you and loads and loads of love you :)

Jen said...

I don't know to which blogger you are referring, but it doesn't surprise me. There was so much drama on another site I used to blog on that I had to leave. There were a lot of people lying, creating a persona they wish they could be or lying for attention, then disappeared once they were exposed only to pop back up under a new name. Not saying that's what happened in this case...but I'm not surprised any longer when people do that.

Melanie said...

'Just wanted you to know I was here and I hear your heart.
Also...your multitasking on the sports made me smile.

Mary333 said...

Losing a child has to be the hardest thing in the world. I'm glad there are good memories to warm your heart and soothe your grief a bit though I know you must miss your son terribly and that it is very hard for you. You are in my prayers, Bernie.

I'm sorry about your friend. Cancer is everywhere it seems. It's scary! Is there anyone these days who hasn't lost someone to cancer? Very strange how prevalent this disease is, isn't it?

I saw your comment about Shadowlands on Victor's blog and I just wanted you to know that I am in complete agreement with you on this one. She is VERY special (though she doesn't realize it) and she touches my heart in a way I cannot explain. I have a feeling she is going to be a great saint someday :) She would probably laugh at me for saying that but the truth is that she is a heck of a lot holier than many of the bloggers online. I am always touched by her honesty. She is very real and I like that in a person.
Sending you a great big hug, Bernie :)

Vicki Lane said...

Have a great week and a good time in the mountains with your friends!

Nora said...

We share the death of a son, except that I live with a lot of regrets. I'm afraid I'll grow old bitter. I'm not like you.


Loren said...

Oh Bernie! My heart hurts for you! I can't even imagine how hard it is to lose a child no matter what age! As I come up to the 1st anniversary of losing my Daddy I know it hurts so much! I will be praying for you and asking the Lord to be your Comfort and Strength! So sorry about the Loss of your friend too! I think you are is taking more and more people and I just hate it!!

I can't imagine why anyone would think they could just change blog names and not be recognized! That is crazy! Definitely hurtful to those who have invested in them! You are right though...there are those who just have to be miserable no matter what anyone says or does! It is just so sad isn't it!

Hope the holistic dr does something wonderful for you! I saw one for a few years and it was awesome! I have some excellent results that still hold strong today :)

Sounds like you have a great week ahead of you ~ I pray it is blessed and that you feel the Lord with you in all you do my friend!

I love you!!

Teacher's Pet said...

Hi Bernie...
I posted a comment earlier....but it doesn't show up....Is there something wrong with blogger....or did my comment disappear. Let me know, puhleeeze.
I'm so glad that you are able to access my blog again....and am always thankful for your sweet spirit and loving ways. Take care of you, my friend.
Jackie (another Jackie on your blog...Hello to the 'other' Jackie!!! :)))) )

Bernie said...

Jackie, hello my friend. It is so good to see you and yes I have you in my new computer now so all is well.....:-) Hugs

Cathy, somehow I feel you always appreciate what you have. Wishing you a wonderful week....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Glenda, I was over to visit. I enjoy all your great garage sales and have so much fun reading about you and your girls.....:-) Hugs

Tranquility - how are you sweetie. I know you have been busy and it is a joy when you find time to visit. Hope all is well....:-)Hugs

Jen - I think what you say is true, but it never occurred to me that people would make up who they are but I suppose it takes all kinds to make a world. How are you doing.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Melanie I know you know my heart, I do hope you are doing well. Oh yes I love my sports.....:-)Hugs

Mary - love your comment and I honestly feel Ros is so very special.....even in her pain she shares her truth and we all benefit from them. We are blessed to have her among us....:-)Hugs

Vicki - I am so looking forward to going to the mountains. I have wanted to go for a while now...Hugs

Nora - it is a sad bond we share but please don't grow old bitter. Life when embraced is so wonderful. Love you my friend, xo

Loren, how are you feeling, I will be over to visit soon. I am doing well and looking forward to seeing this doctor tomorrow, it will be a first for me.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Jackie - I'm sorry I only realized that I had published you twoice, oh well it is always great to see you smile more than once on my page. Take care/I care....:-)Hugs

aims said...

I had my back injected two years ago and it did wonders for the pain and you are absolutely right - it hurts! Boy does it hurt! But the results are worth it - even though they take a couple of days to get.

I'm do for a back, hip, and knee injection. Is my body revolting these days?! Or just proving my age?
Ah well. The results. Keep thinking about the results.

The bone scan I just had showed all the spots where the arthritis is. I should have asked - and will - exactly where these spots are so that I will know in the future - just arthritis. Nothing to worry about.

Have a lovely week Bernie. I wish you didn't have to spend any of it remembering loved ones instead of spending your time with them.

Bernie said...

aims - sorry you have arthritis. So many of us seem to get it as we get older, the shots are painful but very effective. Have a great week.....:-) Hugs

Valerie said...

Bernie, I'm sending hugs for all the reasons outlined in your post. One comment about the blogger, though, I didn't know it was that easy to change one's actual name, unless you meant the name of the blog .. which I have done before. Hope your enjoy the mountains. Hugs from me.

Bernie said...

Hi Val, not she not only has a new name for her blog she has set up a whole new profile of herself.....not sure how it is done but she has done it. Oh well, it is her choice and if it is important to her so be it. Big Hugs

Eileen said...

Bernie, I'm so sorry you've had a rough time of it, but through it all I see the love you have in your heart carries you through, and it helps you to always count your Blessings. You and so many other blogger friends have helped me to view life very differently these past few years and I'm so grateful for that!
But so often I fall back into my old habits. Recently I have been angry with my loved ones that have died. I know that sounds like insanity. I was telling Ray when we were on our road trip that I have this crazy, irrational anger at all our family and friends that they are no longer here. I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes.

But it was nice to come here and be reminded that we have been Blessed to have had them for as long as we did.

So sorry about your blogger friend too. I see from the comments here that a lot of you know her. I recently had something like that happen on Facebook, a family member 'unfriended' all of us and we are really at a loss!
What can you do when someone chooses to shut you out of their life?

I'm glad you have some nice plans coming up. Enjoy your time away.
Love and Prayers,
PS ~ I tried getting here and to a few other blogs before but once again I was shut out! Oh well, at least I'm having better luck today!

Bernie said...

Eileen - I remember feeling angry at those who had left me but not for long, it served no purpose but I understand that it does happen.
Loved the pictures of your road trip, your grandchildren are growing so fast.
I am so glad to see you and Marcy back blogging, I have missed you both so much.
Take care sweetie, talk soon....:-)Hugs

Brenda said...

That Bernie was a very tough week! Bless you for looking up and searching for hope and joy. May God bless you.

quieten said...

What a very emotional week you've had. I'm sorry you have to deal with so much.What a hard loss it is for you. I only hope you remember all the happy moments and good times together. I find that helps me through the sad times.
Those shots truly are painful but you feel oh so very much better after you get them! I'm wishing you lots of fun on your weekend. Enjoy the days. Consider yourself hugged and loved, my friend.

Bernie said...

Brenda, it was a rough week and it has passed. Yesterday and especially today have been really good. Sending big hugs my friend......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Quieten, I am fine sweetie. I think about you and George often, how are you both. You are always in my heart and prayers.....:-) Hugs

Joey said...

God bless you, Bernie. I am so sorry about the loss of your son and your husband.

I pray that God will blanket you with peace, love and warm you with friends and loved ones.

God bless you,

Abbey said...

I am sorry for your loss of your son. I am in a place right this very moment where I fear for my son. He is at rock bottom. Amber left and took the baby, the light of our lives, Cooper. We're trying to get her to work it out, but she won't answer our calls. I'm going to use one of your statements by sending it to both her and my son.

"It is not about what happens in our life but how we react to it."

Love you always Berie,

Liz said...

Bernie I was sorry to hear you mention the loss of your son. I think you have the right attitide in remembering all the love and wonderful times you shared.
It seems like you have a very full week planned so I hope it turns out to be a good one. I too will be remembering all those who gave their lives so I could have what I have today.
I also know what you mean about unhappy people but lets just leave it at that!!
Hugs to you my friend x

ethelmaepotter! said...

Life can be so unkind to us, but to lose a child is...unthinkable. My heart goes out to you, but thank goodness, you are now able to see beyond the loss and dwell on the happy memories. That's what he would have wanted.

When I had SEVERE back problems, I used to look forward to getting those shots in my spine - yes, they hurt like the dickens, but it was soooo much relief afterwards! Like a new person for a few days. I've had them since in my foot and knee - they didn't last.

I will probably be down and out for a few months very soon - doc says I MUST have foot surgery before January or I may never walk again. Looking for a good surgeon now.

Cancer....ugggghhhh. I am happy to report that I discovered yesterday that I am 2 1/2 years cancer free - my halfway mark to being cured! What am I gonna do to celebrate, you ask?

I'm going to Disneyworld!

Wanna go?

Bernie said...

Abbey I am sorry about the circumstances surrounding your son, I will pray for him and pray that they work out......:-)Hugs

Bernie said...

Liz, thank you for your kind words, I have known some heartaches but I really don't know of too many who goes through this world without knowing loss r pain. Life is all good now....:-)Hugs

Bernie said...

ethelmaepotter - Congratulations on being 2 1/2 years cancer free, I love hearing a good result.
Be well my friend....:-) Hugs

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Oh, Bernie...I'm so sorry to hear about your friend...and of course, you are still grieving your never gets over it...What a week it has been for you! I'm so sorry, my friend! Sending you extra hugs and much love...Janine XO

Bernie said...

Janine, thank you sweetie, I am happy to say I am doing really well is good. I am enjoying seeing your paintings on facebook, they are so beautiful....:-) Hugs

Souldose said...

So sorry to hear the bad news on my first day here, stay strong

Midlife Jobhunter said...

Bernie, I hope you have a grand time with your friends this weekend. Sounds like it will be a most welcome respite from life. Enjoy.

Be safe and have fun.

Silver said...

I love to read what you share..mostly, i love to know that you are well.

Having you close in my thoughts, my dear one.


Sheila said...

Bernie - i'm so sorry I missed your update 5 days ago! i just spotted it today. I hope your time spent with good friends this week has been restorative. It's wonderful to have the support you do. You have suffered such losses and yet have found the strength to be such a great support to so many people. I'm looking forward to getting together again before too long.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I hope the time away in the mountains will help your heavy heart. Loss is so difficult to deal with. My heart is with you.

Glad to hear the cortisone shots brought you so much relief. I had 6 (!) in my hands last week so I know how uncomfortable they are but when they work--- Ahhh, I can hear your sigh of relief.

Have a wonderful getaway. xo jj

Chez said...

Bernie, I am a first time visitor to your site although I am aware that we do have mutual friends. I often read your caring, thoughtful comments.
When Alli left a message for us earlier in the month I realised that you too have lost a child. I agree very much with what you have said. Each day I give thanks for the love that I share with my Angel Child.
This week I have both his birthday and his Angel Day coming up.
Just wanted to let you know that my heart goes out to you. There are no words to express the sorrow and pain you would feel at the loss of both husband and child.
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
'When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.' ~Kahlil Gibran

MOLLYE said...

Oh honey I was thinking of you during the week and remembeering how much help you were to me when Jake died and you still are.

You inspire me so.

As for the friend thing, I have indeed had something similar but will save it for an email discussion.

The other thing I want is your address. YOU are the winner of my Basket of Blessings.!!! See my blog today! Love you, Mollye

Linda Higgins said...

Bernie, I am so glad that your pain has been relieved! I know about darn pain! It can totally wear you out and wear you down! YES complainers, I have a very hard time with them. That too can wear on a person. It is sad isn't it! Life is so full of wonderful things I just don't want to listen to complainers or even be a part of it...we all have our trials...and grumbling once in a while is a relief, if you do it to the right person...LOL and they want to listen then make you laugh! LOVE and hugs my sweet blogger friend...I won't change my name...EVER!!

Garnetrose said...

My cousin and I were talking and we both remarked at how all our friends seem to be passing away. We figured out we have lost five in the past year and I told her it is a sign of our age.

I have started blogs over or made new ones but I have always contacted the ones who were my blogging friends and told them where my new blog was. I could not imagine my blogging friends being left behind like that. I would be lost if some of my on line friends had not helped me over some rough roads. Just lost.

I know it must be rough for you this time of the year. My foster mom lost two sons and she mourned them til the day she died, especially around the time of their deaths. I do feel for you at this time.

The Retired One said...

Oh Bernie, I wanted to cry and send you a big hug when you talked about your grief over your son. I am so sorry you lost him. I have been so behind in reading blogs, I am trying to catch up every now and then by back reading posts. Please know I think of you often and care about you.
It is so very hard to lose friends to cancer, too.The same thing is happening to us. It is a horrid disease who attacks people without reason. I am glad the shots helped you and that you are enjoying sports.
We got a dusting of snow here, nothing more yet...but I am sure it is on its way.
Did you have yet another Blogger do that to you? Remember the one that we both read too and she kept playing the pitty party and then asked for money and then started another blog? I really think some of those folks are psychologically impaired. They try and suck everybody into their victim's role and it depletes your energy.
Anyway, glad you are fine in wonderful Canada and know that you are in my thoughts often and in my heart, always!!

Janean said...

hugs for your loss.

high fives for 2 tvs and watching what you a fire! double yay!

Wanda said...

Came over from Mr. Toast and certainly enjoyed reading your post.

I too have lost dear ones to cancer, and am a breast cancer survivor of 2 years!

My name is Wanda, and I am addicted to sports too.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving.

Elizabeth Mahlou said...

I am coming in on the tail end of these comments. Been traveling a lot lately so little time to comment on anything. I did not know that your husband had spent a career in the USAF. Twenty-five years is a long time. I imagine you have seen a lot of places. I am sure you miss him; sorry that you have to go through those emotions. (And with your blogger friend, as well.)

Anonymous said...

It's been awful quiet here lately. Hope all's well, Bernie.

Teacher's Pet said...

I wanted to say hello to you!!!!!
Hugs and love to you, Bernie.