Hello my friends, it seems like forever since I have talked with you and I am so happy to be back. Thank you all for your kind comments and concern, you are the best and the reason I enjoy blogging so very much. It will take me a while to catch up with all of your post but I will.
Rather than go into the details of my "away time" I would like to share with you some very important lessons learned.
I learned no matter how much you love and care for someone you cannot take their pain or their problems away from them. Love, though very important is not enough. Each of us must travel our journey using the tools the good Lord provided, so I suggest one better be their own best friend and really like and respect who they are. Oh we can and must always support each other and that does make the road less bumpy but each of us must take responsibility for our health, actions and words. Sometimes words said or deeds done can do more damage than a terminal illness.
I was blessed to share these days with someone I love very much, and would of loved to been able to take all of her pain away but in spite of my love, her pain was so very real and even more so very sad......she had trusted people who she thought loved her, perhaps they did in their fashion but their way of love had added to her burdens making her more ill, she was feeling used and alone. No one should ever feel this way.
I learned that one cannot base their happiness on someone else's unhappiness, life just doesn't work that way. I learned no one can take advantage or manipulate anyone unless that person allows it. I learned that everyone has boundaries which should be respected and not crossed. I learned to say no when I couldn't and yes when I could and both answers felt right in my heart. I learned that ones word is so very important and honesty is the best way.....always.
I have known these lessons a very long time, I just don't think about them very often. I want to encourage everyone to take care of their health, love yourself enough to share your truth and stand up for what you believe. Don't let anyone decide what kind of life you are going to have, take your power back and live a full, productive, happy life......always help and support others when you can but know the difference between helping and enabling.
I am so thankful for so many things today...a cup of hot coffee relaxing by the fireplace as a snow storm and the bitter cold rage outside my window. I am thankful for the quiet in my home and the peace within my heart. I am thankful for the rainbow after the storm.
Enjoy your weekend and God Bless......and to each of you many, many hugs.
101 comments:
Dear Bernie, I've "missed" you. The lessons and truths you speak of are ones that need to be reaffirmed daily. Honesty is always the best way. I'm so glad you're home and enjoying its sanctity. Be well.
Bernie...Your wisdom and actions in this situation make me confident that you can handle anything that comes your way. It makes me proud to have you as a friend. The love you showed without compromising your beliefs have set good examples for those you love. You lead a life of exemplary qualities they can look up to, admire, and respect. The same qualities I recognized almost a year ago when I first visited your blog and when you left your first comment on mine on Feb.4, 2009. I am truly grateful to have You as a friend, Bernie!
Love,
Wanda
It's good to have you back, Bernie, and your post is filled with much wisdom. I need to try to keep what you said in mind because there are times I think I enable rather than help.
Hugs to you, kind friend.
Double rainbow - how beautiful, and symbolic!
My imagination has gone all kinds of places after reading this post several times, Bernie. You're obviously troubled by whatever happened, but I'm glad that at least you're back to the safety of your home.
What a loving friend you are, Bernie. I am thankful for your rainbow after the storm. Welcome home. Home is where the heart is...and I have missed you very much.
Love,
Jackie
Glorious rainbows!!! Reminds me vividly of God's love for us!!! Glad you're home safe and sound!!! Cathy
Barb, how are you my friend, I have thought of you so often and pray that you are doing very well. So good to hear from you.....:-) Hugs
Wanda, my dearest friend. We have grown so close this past year and it is a joy for me to have you in my life.......:-) Hugs
Carmen, your loyalty to your friends ensures loyalty returned. I am confident your wisdom will see you through every situation I am sure......:-) Hugs
Elizabeth, I so love rainbows whenever I am blessed to see one and a double one is special. I do pray Noelle is doing well...:-) Hugs
Linda, yes I was very troubled for a while but now I am very much at peace with everything. When one does all they can they have to accept it and move forward with much love in their hearts...:-) Hugs
Jackie, I have missed you as well, I will be over to read your post as soon as I can. I am happy to feel safe at home for sure..:-) Hugs
Cathy, we are so blessed to know that God's love and power surrounds and protects us, I am very contented now and wish this peace for everyone.....:-) Hugs
Beautiful post, Bernie!
I loved what you said about helping and not enabling (sometimes that is a very fine line to walk!), and I love how you are always so positive and supportive. Your friends and loved ones are Blessed to have you and we are Blessed to know you!
AND, I see that your friendship with Wanda has an Anniversary coming up! Blessings to both of you and God Bless your friendship with many more years!
It's funny how you remember all the important 'firsts' in your life.
My friend Barbara and I were just talking about how we first met on 'Security Duty' up at school when our youngest boys were in Kindergarten together (twenty years ago this Fall).
'Glad you're back in the Village, Bernie! And glad you are home inside safe and sound!
Love to you,
Eileen
Oh Bernie so glad to have you back. Blessings
QMM
Eileen, I have made such wonderful friends since I began blogging, Wanda is much better at dates than I am but then that is why she is so special to me as are you and all the others in the village.
I am so enjoying the quiet of my home today and fortunately I slept very well last night so I am warm, rested and pleased with life. Big hugs to Jayden and Mia.....:-) Hugs
Peggy, thank you. I have missed you all so much. I think blogging has become a bit addictive as kept longing to spend time on the computer......:-) Hugs
Well said Bernie, and Welcome Home.
Love Di
Bernie - regretably I am not able to visit you as often as I would wish but I am glad I came tonight. You are such a kind and compassionate lady and your post is full of wonderful advice. May God bless you, Bernie. And thank you very much for your card received when you were away ~ Eddie x
What beautiful rainbows and what wonderful words of wisdom from a truly sweet lady...you are such a sweetie!!
Please stay safe and warm....
Hugs from me to you :) Jerelene
You're right. Sometimes we need to be reminded of what we know.
Nice pic. I saw a double rainbow once -- in your province in 2000.
Hi Diana, I just left your site. It is good to be back amongst all of you again, I missed you all so much......:-) Hugs
Eddie, it is I who should thank you my friend as I am so enjoying your daughter's wonderful CD's. I do enjoy your visits whenever you manage to pop over. Hope you and Maria are feeling well....:-) Hugs
Hi Jerelene, thank you for your kind words my friend....I so miss you as still not able to open your blog.....big hugs to Sam...:-)
A/C, somehow it takes something sad to remind us....am popping over to your site to read how the trip to the cabin went...:-) Hugs
You speak great volumes of wisdom in this post, Bernie...no truer words were spoken. I believe and support everything you said.
It takes life's lessons to teach you those things though, and some people have to experience more pain to learn them than others.
I know that you must follow your gut in all circumstances...it always knows the truth!
Joan, isn't it true that most of us have to experience the pain before we come out the other side, hopefully most do but I have seen some who seem to wallow in their problems and blame others, somehow I feel these people will never learn nor ever change and I find this very sad.......:-) Hugs
So profound and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing your experience and wisdom.
Blessings.
I love reading your posts, I love your wisdom and seemingly huge sensitivity. Whatever/whoever took you away for a while is no doubt much better off for your presence. Missed you and glad you're back :0)
Anita, thank you, I always love hearing your thoughts my friend, have a great weekend...:-) Hugs
ED,I missed you and your wonderful sense of humor as well. I pray that I was able to help in some small way as this person is very important to me.....:-) Hugs
HI BERNIE-
I am SO relieved and SO inspired by your words. I heed every one. I, like you, know all of what you said and yet somehow reading them today from you they sounded new and enlightening. "Thank you" Bernie for sharing the rainbow and the storm.
Love Gail
peace.....
Gail, thank you for your kind words, I think sometimes we all should go through a storm just to enjoy the beautiful rainbows. Did the puppy arrive.......:-) Hugs
Bernie, I am go glad you are back! I have been so upset over things that have happened this week and it may not be important to anyone else but it is to me. I have enjoyed reading your words of wisdom.
Blessings & Big Hugs,
Donna
Donna, I am so sorry you have had such a rough week, mine wasn't the best either but here it is Saturday night and we both have survived.....I do hope you have a wonderful Sunday, we deserve a beautiful day......:-) Hugs
Glad you are back safe and sound in your home Bernie, you had a beautiful post, we all have to be our own best friend. Stay warm and out of the storm. You were missed my friend. Take care.
Beautiful photo and beautiful words.
Hi Cinner, thank you I missed you as well, will be over soon to catch up on your post my friend, have a happy Sunday....:-) Hugs
Hi Cheryl, how have you been sweetie.......:-) Hugs
Welcome back - have missed reading your posts, and you always provide a bright spot in my day! Thank you for sharing your wisdom - these were words that I needed to hear and to remember! oxox
Saranne, thank you for your kind words, I so missed my blogging friends......:-) Hugs
Oh dear....... sounds like you have been in a difficult place.
I am sure you were the best person possible to help a friend in need and I do hope that this friend will reach a turning point in her illness.
I just love that double rainbow.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Hi Bernie, I'm so pleased to see you back in blogland. It does me good to read your posts. Your compassion, truth and realism know no bounds. I am privileged to be associated with you through blogging. Hugs for you.
PS. The double rainbow is grand!
How good it is that you brought 'rainbows' to that friend, for no goodness goes without a positive affect on others.
How true that we must do all the good we can and when we can do no more then we are blessed to be able to still pray about it.
Thank you for all the good you do and all the good you inspire.
blessings and welcome back hugs,
marcy
Dear Bernie,
Welcome back. Your post shows such wisdom, and empowerment. A very good lesson for all of us to learn.
Thank you for this beautiful post.
Take care of yourself.
Welcome back, Bernie!
I will have to come back later as am just heading out for the day.
I only had time to do a quick read and I want to ponder more on your words before I comment on them.
So, see you later.
Have a wonderful day!
Hugs
Margie:)
Sweetest Bernie, you are so giving and so I see, also very wise! You know, I tried to impart that wisdom (only you can make yourself unhappy) in the midst of a breakdown with someone I love, and at that moment, it only fueled the fire? I supposed when someone is so upset, the last thing they want to hear is that they are hurt because they allow it. Nevertheless, what you say is quite true. I read a lot of "self-help" books in my twenties - it was fashionable back then (maybe it is now, I don't know) and I took what I felt was reasonable from them. The blame game. When that is taken away, you are stripped down to one thing in any situation - Yourself!
It is so loving that you were "there" for this individual and I'm sure that in time, she will reflect and the principles that came from your input will flow back in at the right time and will be more fully understood. And, God willing, they will have some positive impact on this situation.
On this is for sure, nobody ever died of a broken heart, although at the time (and there have been MANY) I thought my world was ending. Now I look back and laugh at my own naivete and stupidity.
I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry, because what I wanted to say was that I had thought you were going to be gone a lot longer and I missed you, and I am so happy to hear from you again. I wish I were at your house, sitting by the fire, sharing coffee and conversation, and watching that beautiful snow!
Welcome back, sweet friend!
What insight and wisdom flowing from you dear one. Thank you for sharing such a profound post. Blessings.
I've learnt each of the lessons you mentioned here too...some the easy way...some the hard way.. I wish we could take away the pain of those we love. I really really wish that was possible.
Ironically love makes us do things, we'd never advise others to do. You let people walk over you, because you love them so much. Somewhere you feel they'll change. But that day never comes. Ofcourse it is stupid, but when you invest so much into a relationship, you adjust and compromise.
But yes Bernie, one thing I am still learning is to not allow people to remote control my life.
Glad to see you back Bernie. Take care, stay warm and healthy. God bless!
Maggie, yes my friend it was a difficult week but I am fine and I pray all my efforts were not in vain......:-) Hugs
Val, it is so good to be back with all of you and I do think wisdom comes with age.....:-) Hugs
Marcy, I am still praying but God knows my heart and I did the very best I could and I can live with that.....missed you.....:-) Hugs
Oh Abbey, I think all of us have been in situations where we refuse to see we brought it on ourselves, one thing about growing older comes the lessons of our youth and I don't think I would change anything I went through for what I have learned.
It is good to be back with you Abbey and I pray all is well with you and your family.....:-) Hugs
JBR, it is good to be back and I pray you are having a wonderful Sunday.......:-) Hugs
Hi Anne, thank you for your kind words, all is well with the world today sweetie.....:-) Hugs
Margie, you are welcome back any time, love hearing from you. Hope you are having a great day...Hugs
Stillness, I have no doubt you have learned these lessons, you are wise for one so young. It is so good to hear from you....Hugs
Val, so sorry I just noticed your other comment....the rainbows are pretty aren't they, I took it off the net as I still haven't been able to pick up my camera......:-) Hugs
your words are a wonderful inspiration and reminder to all of us....
Bernie,I am so glad you are back. I was worried about you. I'm sorry you couldn't carry your friend's burden for her but I am sure that your companionship and caring eased the pain. It sounds like this was a hard time for you as well but I know you did all you could, and did that with much love and compassion. Hang in there- the rainbow promises a new day and a peaceful heart.
Love ya,
Quieten
Hi Beth, words we all know and most of us live by, I hope you are having a wonderful Sunday...Hugs
Quieten, I kept checcking on your blog wondering how George and you were doing.....I am fine after an emotional week but rested well last night......big hugs my friend and tons of prayers....:-) Hugs
Back again Bernie to read your post once more.
It's so full of wisdom and very inspiring!
I truly do appreciate your beautiful words!
Have to tell you one of your best posts, ever!!!
How wonderful to have that rainbow after the storm!
May your life always be full of rainbows!
I had a wonderful weekend and hope you too are having a very lovely one!
Hugs to you!
Margie:)
welcome back. have missed the stories. the double rainbow fits well. and you are so wise. smiles.
Oh, Bernie, I am so glad I met you! You are like a bright ray of sunshine on a rainy day. I pray that I may grow in wisdom as you have. I loved your post, thank you :) I can learn a lot from you!
Hi Bernie,
Seems you have learned (or remembered ) a lot this last week...and I am glad you are finding peace with it all; and I am glad you are back!
((((HUGS))))) T
Glad you're back! we can all learn much from you, Bernie.
Margie, thank you sweetie for your kind words, after a rough week it is good to find a routine again. Loved your last poem....:-) Hugs
Hi Brian, am enjoying your stories very much my friend....:-) Hugs
Mary I am just as pleased to meet you and love how strong and loyal you are to your faith, you are a real inspiration to all of us.
.........:-) Hugs
Hi Terri, hope all is going well with you.....:-) Hugs
Lisa my dear friend, how are you. I have been keeping an eye open for your post and all the while keeping you in my prayers...Hugs
Put another log on the fire, Bernie. Welcome back.
sigh...it would be nice if tragedy did not have to strike in order to appreciate and remember the value of which we hold... I'm sure your love was comforting if not solving, great reminders here, to be true to self, so very true. You are such a wonderful person, it's comforting knowing there are people such as yourself in this world :) hugs to you
glad for your return. You sound like you had a good trip..:)
Hi Julie, all is right with the world my friend....:-) Hugs
Kay, how nice of you to say these things, thank you. Oh there are many people even better than I am my friend but if we all try to help one another it would be a much better world.....:-) Hugs
glnroz, you have misunderstood, I wasn't away on a fun time at all, but it is good to be back to my normal routine......:-) Hugs
Just found you, Bernie. Many thanks for your wonderful entry.
Karen so glad you found me and I do hope you come back again soon,
......:-) Hugs
You will never see this 83rd comment, I'm sure. For my OWN good I have to affirm all that you have shared. It actually fits a circumstance I'm in right now, and I need to remember it all. Thank you, thank you. And it is SO good to have you back.
Hi Bernie. Great to have you back and with a rainbow as well. Just what I needed to see today. It's still raining, raining still. Your post was very well put, my dear. I've been trying to live my life that way and encourage my little sister (she's in her 50's now) to live in that manner as well. Again, good to have you back, stay warm, stay safe, stay well. <3 Mar
Rebecca, I will always see you no matter what number your comment is. Love how you are so disciplined my friend....:-) Hugs
Hi Mar, it is so good to be back. Yes life is a rainbow today but we both know life will throw another storm our way....it is what it is but to have the tools to live through them is a real gift...Hugs
DEAR PRECIOUS BERNIE,
I HOPE YOUR POST OF WISDOM IS READ BY THOUSANDS.
I AM SETTING BESIDE YOU IN FRONT OF THAT WARM FIRE AND IT MATTER NOT THAT WE TALK BUT THAT WE HAVE WALKED A SIMILAR PATH AND MADE IT TO THIS DAY.
I'M GLAD YOU MADE IT HOME SAFELY AND YOU ARE TUCKED IN AT YOUR HOME WHERE PEACE DWELLS
LOVE YOU BERNIE
SIMPLY DEBBIE
bernie~
those are some amazing lessons to apply to our lives...
thank you for your beautiful words.
chasity
Debbie, you are welcome by my fire any time. Thank you for your kind words my friend.....:-) Hugs
Chasity, thanks sweetie. I do hope you are feeling better....:-) Hugs
Not easy lessons, but very valuable lessons, and thank you for reminding us of them.
tattytiara, lessons I believe that we all learn as we grow older. Have a great day....:-) Hugs
You are such a good kind person. I know you would liked to have taken your friends pain but no one can do that. I often feel that way about one of my friends who is suffering a great deal. I just pray for her and listen to what she has to say.
The world needs more people like you, Bernie. I am glad you are back. Blogland was not the same without you.
Just came by to check on you...haven't seen you around the village...now I know why...96 comments...you have been busy answering everyone here, plus your sports on TV. Will e-mail you Bernie!
Hi Bernie. How are you this week?
Hope things with your friend are working themselves out. xx
Hi Garnet, oh I thank you for your kind words. I am always so glad to hear from you.......:-) Hugs
Wanda, I have been around the village every day or so I thought, it looks as though I have missed some of my dear friends post, not intentional for sure. Will e-mail you later tonight ok....big hugs to Alivia.....luv you....:-)
Liz, so nice to hear from you. So glad Scotland has warmed up, sure wish it would here......:-) Hugs
God bless you.
Denise, thank you. So glad you have stopped by.....:-) Hugs
What a wonderful post. These words speak right into my heart, as I have been pondering just these things over the last few months or so. How good to see them spelt out right in front of me!
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