Tuesday, May 11, 2010

She's An Eagle When She Flies

Hello My friends, whenever I hear Dolly Parton singing her song "She's An Eagle When She Flies" I think of my mom. In fact this song describes my mom to a "T" in my mind.

I woke up this morning to birds chirping outside my window and sun shining yet I woke up with a down, uneasy feeling. I had slept well and it was 8:30 so it was time to get up but I turned over and snuggled under my duvet and the dream came back to me.

You see I had a dream of my mother. Many times mom is in my dreams but this time was different, this dream she was upset with me. I could see her so clearly as she shook her finger at me and I recognized that look on her face as well, I had seen it many times as a child. She was talking to me but I couldn't hear her words, I could only see her expressions......instead of getting up I fell back to sleep. Mom came to me again in a dream, and this time I heard her very clearly and after she finished talking she hugged me as she said good bye, I didn't want her to leave and the tears were welling up in my eyes as she turned into a very intense green forest, then I woke up.

I was still trying to understand what she meant but she had made it very clear I was to start standing up for myself, she said I was too soft and let people take advantage of me and only I could stop this from happening. I wish I could say she was right but I honestly don't think so. I try not to be rude but I do speak up. I find it easier to speak up for other people than myself though, but I have always been this way. You know the "always cheering for the underdog type" and my mom knew this. I do think I figured out why I had this vivid dream though:

Just before going to sleep last night I received an e-mail confirming an order placed on the Internet with my credit card, I hadn't ordered anything and when I tried contacting the company I was unable to get through. I think having this on my mind before falling asleep caused me to dream. This morning I checked to make sure the Credit Card used had been cancelled as I requested a couple of months ago. I assumed it had been as they had sent me a replacement card, and yes it had been cancelled. I'm still trying to understand how an order can be confirmed on a cancelled credit card but they assured me no charges were made or even tried to be made on it. I pay my card off each month so I checked the computer a couple of times today to see if any charges have been made on my new card and no there have been none. I was wrong to give my credit card information out to anyone even if it were a family member....she was so right I have to learn to say no, as it has been nothing but problems since I did it.

Too all of you please don't make the mistake I did. I trust every one and I trusted this one member of my family and I was taken advantage of......there is no excuse for this and I am not making any. I was really dumb and I have learned a valuable lesson but I also lost trust in someone I loved very much. I thought I was helping, perhaps I did for a while.

I truly believe no one can base their happiness on someone else being unhappy, when they intentionally do this their own lives are mixed up, they are hurting emotionally and as a result until they make things right and resolve the issue then they will not know happiness.....so tonight I am praying that everyone I know and love will always do the right thing as I want only happiness for everyone.

God Bless...........and many, many hugs :-)


81 comments:

Denise said...

I love you my friend, sorry this happened to you.

Valerie said...

That was a really disconcerting dream, Bernie, and a nasty experience over the credit card. I'm not a trusting soul, in fact I have quite a suspicious nature which I base on lessons learned in past employment with police and probation. Your nature is much nicer. Hugs.

Twain12 said...

the subconscious is a strange thing , isn't it ?
I'm sorry your dream left you feeling down though but I'm glad your card was left alone. Sometimes those things are a nightmare.
Big Hugs

Katherine said...

You are a beautiful soul Bernie & I am sorry to hear that someone, took advantage of your giving heart.
I can understand how that must be hurting you right now.
It was not your actions were not dumb, your intentions were only good & being family one would expect trust & gratitude...not dishonesty & abuse like that.
I hope your week improves Bernie!

GrandmaK said...

Wishing you a better day! Being assertive is not one of my strong points either. I rather just "do it" than argue. God bless you in your goodness! Cathy

Brian Miller said...

hey there...sorry about the credit card....that is all too common these days...pretty crazy dream too.

i do like waking up hearing the birds though...peaceful.

Teacher's Pet said...

Good morning, Bernie. I am thinking of you....as you are thinking of yourself (and others.)
A lot of times, those e-mails about the confirmation of the use of your credit cards are simply scam e-mails...no validity to them whatsoever. If you called your credit card company and were assured that eh card wasn't valid, that's exactly what that e-mail was...a scam. I get junk mail like that all the time....usually to my 'spam' box...but it was wise for you to check it out since you had had an incident with the card before.
Let your mind rest, Bernie. Continue to take care of you...and others. It's what you do best....a gift from God. You are an encourager, and not many people have this loving and generous gift. You have blessed so many people...and you continue to do that. I hope that the 'spam' and the pfishing e-mails stop....but if they don't, don't be overly concerned about them since you know the original credit card is 'no more'... :)) Peace to you...blessings, love and hugs to you.
Love,
Jackie

GrandmaK said...

Please stop by I have something for you! Cathy

Diana said...

I think it's so strange when our dreams focus on something that happened or that we did while awake!
This happens to me frequently. I do believe that it's a natural event meant to help us with life!

I always use gift cards when purchasing something on line. I just go load it up and shop! No worries about personal account numbers being used!

I love this Bernie as it just goes to show that even in the afterlife, mother knows best! Love Di ♥

Wander to the Wayside said...

I think everyone has been taken advantage of by someone in their lives, Bernie, but I also don't think there's any shame in that. We can't always read the other person correctly or know what's going in on their heart. I would rather error on the side of kindness than on suspician. But yes, I would be very hesitant in this day and age to give my credit card info to anyone, even if it was friend or family! The same would go for cash above a certain amount, such as a tank of gas or a water bill but not a mortgage payment!

Wanda said...

Good morning Bernie!!!
I love the song too, it's a good one to relate with your mom!

It's awful to lose trust in someone close to us. I'm sorry the relative took advantage of you, Bernie. Some people are weak and make bad judgements, maybe they had intentions of reimbursing you in person before the bill arrived and then found themselves unable to and just wrongly ignored their responsibility.

At the same time that recent email may have been bogus. We received an email 'supposably' from the USPS stating a package was undeliverable, asking us to reply, we didn't, looked it up on google...it was a scam...so be very careful.
♥...Wanda

Janean said...

very good lesson, though a sad statement about the human nature and the wrong people will do to each other. you probably saved someone or several people a lot of grief. thank you for sharing, bernie!

big, big hugs to you!!!!

My Aimless Infatuation said...

Oh Bernie,isn't it amazing how a Mother's love guides us forever? When you were describeing yourself you could have been talking about me. I also have been hurt many times for being an "underdog defender". I still live by the "Do unto other's" creed,and always will. It's just sad that most of the world doesn't, but your Mother's message touched me also so I am going to work on defending myself too. Have a great day and more sweet dreams and never ignore "words from the wise". ((hugs)).

Queenmothermamaw said...

Oh Dear Bernie that is too hard to have to face. Sounds like something I could or have done. I think the dream of your mom was a real timely event and will give you strength to do what you say you need to do. blessings
QMM

Amariah said...

It really is true that you can't depend on someone else being happy to make you happy.

I'm actually the opposite of you~ my husband is always telling me that I need to trust people, but I don't trust anyone.. it's just the way I am:P

I hope you are feeling well Bernie!!

Anvilcloud said...

I guess it's better to be trusting and to get taken advantage of a little bit than to be suspicious of everyone. Too bad your trust was violated though. Really too bad.

wendyytb said...

Bernie...

Maybe you got an email sent to the wrong address... That sometimes happens.

I had a dream about my mom once. She was running down the road ahead of me and was happy.elly Running when she was alive would not have been an option as she had an amputation.

Choices said...

Bernie,
Very thought provoking. Standing up for yourself and trusting in yourself is a life long journey. It takes work, but it is surely worth it in the end.
Have a great day.
Take care.

Eileen said...

Bernie, I'm so sorry you had to experience that betrayal. It's such a violation on such a personal level.
I'm glad your Mom paid you a visit though. It's one of the greatest treasures we have, isn't it? That love, and that guidance, and that Mother's protection that lingers on even after they are gone.

Hope this bad taste doesn't linger too long. I will be praying for you as well as for the family member who took advantage.
God Bless and Protect you both.
Love to you,
Eileen

Gail said...

HI BERNIE

I love that you "saw" your Mom and that she was protecting you. And the timing so close to Mother's day and all - wow. She is very wise.

You are beautiful Bernie - honest and true. ANd I, like you, often learn life's lessons the hard way.

Love you my friend
Gail
peace.....

Nora said...

You believe in everybody's goodness, Bernie, because you are a trustworthy person yourself.

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Oh, Bernie...what a tale...I'm so sorry that your trust was betrayed in such a way. That is simply horrible...and heartbreaking...perhaps, your dream was only confirmation of what you had already concluded...that you would not place yourself in that position again...I rather think so...And I pray no one ever takes advantage of your goodness again! How dare they! Send them my way...I'll give 'em the what for...in a very nice way, of course ;-) Love you much, Janine XOXO

Bernie said...

Hi Denise, thank you. I will survive sweetie.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Val my dream was so real, and yes I am pretty easy going. Hope you have a great day......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Twain12, your absoultely right the subconscious is strange. I am fine today......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Katherine, your so kind but no one can do anything to me unless I allow them to so I have to smarten up and learn to say no. After what I have been through the past couple of months I think I have learned my lesson.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Oh Cathy, you sound so much like me, I don't like any disagreements whatever........:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Brian, I love waking up to sunshine and chirping birds and I was able to again this morning, yay
........:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Oh Jackie I wish you were right but they had included the last 4 numbers of my cancelled card and my full address and shipping date. No it was my card and unfortunately they tried to charge the account today but it was stopped. I don't know what the Visa is going to do about it, I hope they just leave it alone as I have a new card now and don't owe them anything. Don't want to drag family through anything, just want it done with.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Cathy, thank you I will be over in a few minutes.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Di, isn't that the truth. It seems to reflect in our dreams whatever happened that day. I always love it when I dream of my mom but this dream was so vivid and real and she was upset so not so much, never did like it if she was angry with me......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Linda, you are so wise. I have decided not to lend money anymore
it is just not worth the trouble and pain I feel. I think that hurts more than anything....Hugs

Bernie said...

Wanda read what I wrote to Jacke, Visa called me this morning. You are right when trust is broken it takes a very long time if ever to rebuild it. Time for me to walk away from all this, I only hope my family member doesn't get into trouble. They won't from me, and I paid Visa off over 2 months ago so they have their money. Will be glad when it is sorted.....big hugs to Miss Alivia.....:-)

Bernie said...

Janean, oh I certainly did learn a lesson, just want my peaceful life back now......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Peggy, it is what we learn after we think we have learn all our lessons that give me pause. I have been a soft touch for too long..Hug

Bernie said...

Aimes, I loved how you worded my problem and it is very true. I love seeing my mom in a dream but I don't like it when she is upset me. Have a great day.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Amariah, I like being able to trust people but was hurt very much over this issue. I have learned a valuable lesson....Hugs

Bernie said...

A/C, I think I have finally learned my lesson....only took 60 years so I shouldn't complain. I will always trust people unless they give me a reason not too. Hugs

Bernie said...

Wendy what a nice dream to have about your mom.
Unfortunately it was my card that they were trying to use, didn't work though but has caused a lot of trust issues for me.....Hugs

Bernie said...

Ann, I think we continue to learn and grow all through life. Some lessons are fun but some are very difficult and painful....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Eileen, it has been a worrisome couple of days, it shouldn't of been as I had cancelled that card a couple of months ago but even this morning when Visa called my stomach was in knots. I just want this all to be over with and not cause any more family friction.
Hugs to Jayden and Mia....:-)

Bernie said...

Gail, don't you hate learning a lesson the hard way, this doesn't happen to me very often but when it does I am devastated. I love seeing my mom in dreams but this was the first time she was upset with me and I didn't like that. The colors in my dream were so intense and vivid as was the dream.
.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Nora, thank you what a nice thing to say......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Janine, it has been a bit nerving for me but I am sure it will settle down soon. Thank you for your support my friend....:-) Hugs

Maggie May said...

The worry of that credit card would have kept me awake!
Terrible that people can take advantage of you or would even want to.
The dream sounds as though you were worried and then reassured.
We all need our mothers when we are upset. No matter what age we are.
I still miss mine.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

lisasmith said...

praying for you sweet friend... so sorry this happened...

i love dolly so much!! i love you more =)

Loren said...

Bernie~ I have seen your sweet face on many blogs I follow and decided it was time I come meet you myself! I will follow you now and look forward to knowing you!

My mom dreams of my Nana(moms mom) sometimes and she is always so happy bc she misses her so much! I don't know if she has ever had one like this though and I hope it gets better. Sometimes we have more patience or faith in our family than we should and in this instance it sounds like that was the case. I am so sorry someone took advantage of you.

Bernie said...

Lisa, thank you. Hope you are well sweetie, pray for you every day.
......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Oh Maggie, it has been a frustrating few days but I have to let it go now and move on. That credit card cannot be used by anyone now. How are you feeling sweetie, keeping you in my prayers as always.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Loren, thank you for your kind words and welcome to my blog, I will be over to visit you soon.
.......:-) Hugs

Mary333 said...

Bernie,
I'm sorry that someone took advantage of you in this way. It especially bothers me because you are very kind and would not harm anybody.
What an interesting dream about your mother - I found this fascinating. That she gave you advice in a dream made me smile :) She doesn't want anyone walking all over her baby girl!

Bernie said...

Oh Mary, I am fine sweetie, I was very hurt for a while but I am doing okay now. I have never been one to hold grudges so I will move forward quickly. Thank you for your kind words......:-) Hugs

Holly, the Old Western Gal said...

Glad you caught the attempt at wrongdoing before it snowballed into even more trouble...why do people do these things, you are right they hurt not only others but themselves, it's very negative to do wrong things...some people aren't hitting on all cylinders when it comes to doing right...

Bernie said...

Holly thank you. It is so true this is a different generation than we were. Then there were no credit cards when I was a young girl, hard to believe eh.....Hugs

Alleluiabelle said...

I stopped in to say I love you sweet friend and to thank you so much for always stopping by my place with your strong support and prayers.

You are such a beautiful person...I can't even imagine anyone taking advantage of you like that.

May God open their eyes, ears, mind and heart to feel Him and in turn may they repent to Him for their wrongful doing. May they humbly come before Him to ask for his forgivness and come to you as well to say they are sorry and ask for your forgiveness too in Jesus precious name I pray. Amen.

Again, love you so much.

Alleluiabelle

Cinner said...

Bernie, oh I am sorry you had to experience this. I love the song and do believe your Mom came for a reason. keep being you Bernie, don't let it get you down, hugs my friend.

Bernie said...

Alle, thank you for your beautiful prayer my friend. I am doing well sweetie thank you.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

cinner, I am fine. I was quite hurt for a while but once I put everything into perpective I realize life is to short and I am very much at peace with everything now. They still have to deal with their own conscience which will be harder than anything I could ever say or do. All will be well, and cinner thank you for caring...Hugs

Rebecca said...

Aren't dreams amazing? I'm glad you figured it out. I join the others in expressing my dismay that you (of all people) had to go through this. I LOVE the way you are determined to be wiser. Not cynical, but enlightened.

TechnoBabe said...

That is a difficult decision. A family member is someone we think we can trust. If that person proves to be dishonest then it is their loss. So sorry you had to go through the stress of the credit card episode.

Vicki Lane said...

Some of my best advice comes from dreams --- amazing what our subconscious can do when left to its own devices!

Kay said...

I love that your mother still comes to you and guides you along the way...

As for the CC being given out, I learned a very long time ago that when it comes to money (including CC) once you give it, never expect to get it back. Consider it a gift. Lesson learned. However, how have I personally adjusted to giving without "giving" if you need something? I am happy to assist in getting it for you (if I can) whether it be food (and if they live far away a goody basket or 'care box' can be sent) or clothes, new tires, etc... the 'thing' that you need with the money you are asking for, I am happy to get the item for you.

but my favorite treat or gift to give is sharing a yummy meal with a friend and picking up the tab... which i need to learn to do a little less frequently, myself... :)

Oh, Bernie, you really are a kind soul.

Bernie said...

Vicky everyone says that about dreams, I find whatever is going on in my life reflects my dreams and my sleep. Have a grea day my friend......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Rebecca, dreams are amazing for sure, no I am not the type to become cynical but a lesson has been learned.......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Kay, oh so true and that is what I am doing.now. I have always been one to share but this was handled so poorly and yes I should of considered the fact that hey this is not coming back, live and learn eh! Have a great week.....:-) Hugs

Joanna Jenkins said...

It's interesting that your mother came to you in your dreams to nudge you into looking into things. She's truly your guardian angel.

So sorry a family member was dishonest. That's heart breaking.

Hope your day is better,
jj

Bernie said...

Joanna, yes my mum has been in my dreams quite often and I feel her around me all the time. I don't think my family member was dishonest as much as he was desperate and desperate people do desperate things........:-) Hugs

The Retired One said...

It makes me immediately angry to know that someone who you loved and trusted (a relative, no less) took advantage of you, Bernie. You, of ALL people...you, who has a gentle soul and loving heart.
I am a big believer in karma. What goes around, comes around..that person will have negativity yet for a bit more in his/her life because they have caused harm.
You, however, with your healing and forgiving heart, will continue to have love shine on you because that is what you projected from this awful incident.
Love to you and a great big hug for being the person you are.

Bernie said...

Joan don't be angry, I am fine now once I got over being hurt.
I sent you an e-mail, luv ya

Eternally Distracted said...

What an awful thing to have happened... but as they say - you live and learn.

Hope you are well Bernie :)

Bernie said...

ED I am doing very well now, just took a couple of days. Not a wasted lesson. Wishing you and Mec a wonderful weekend.....:-) Hugs

Donna said...

Bernie,
I am like you I am too trusting of others. I am so sorry for you. I wish you lived me and I would give you a big HUG!
Blessings,
Donna

Karen said...

Dreams are very strange. Still, it's good that you checked your credit card and found all was well. You're a good person.

shadowlands said...

You'll have to come on my life skills course with me Bernie. They are going to teach us how to stop saying 'yes' when we know we ought to be saying 'no'.

I had jewelry stolen a few years ago, and I suspect family in-law. It's horrible having to be suspicious of folks. I just never expected it, in a million years. I am more wary these days. (Hugs 2 you)

Bernie said...

Donna, I have been thinking of you, were any of those horrible storms near you?
I am fine sweetie.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Karen, I think my dreams reflect my day, all subconscious really. I am well now.......:-)Hugs

Bernie said...

Shadowlands, welcome to my blog, love having you visit.
I absolutely need one of those classes, just to be able to say no would be a real step forward for me...... :-) Hugs

Cheryl said...

I too have had a similar situation happen to me, one of my own children. It broke my heart beyond belief. I only do what I felt I should as his mother...But I have to move on from it and let it go. Its so very hard to do at times but must be done. I too have always been for the "underdog" and probably always will be. Wishing you a sunshiny, bright weekend ahead!

Linda Higgins said...

Have a wonderful weekend Bernie, dreams, ah I wish I didn't dream. I am so tired some mornings just from dreaming and not being able to shut down even in sleep! Good advice though. I will keep it in mind, luckily I haven't had that problem...YET! Your so sweet and seem to be such a giving soul, it is sad to be taken advantage of....just pray for them....

Tranquility Speaks said...

Oh Bernie, I hope you didn't click on any links in that mail, or fill out any verification forms giving away further details!

I read somewhere that, the one who suffers injustice is as much at fault as the one who commits wrong. I've often been on the former side. But you've can't always take the wrong, or just continue to give. There must be a balance. I hope I'm making sense!!

Joey said...

You're such a lovely human being.