She's An Eagle When She Flies

Hello My friends, whenever I hear Dolly Parton singing her song "She's An Eagle When She Flies" I think of my mom. In fact this song describes my mom to a "T" in my mind.

I woke up this morning to birds chirping outside my window and sun shining yet I woke up with a down, uneasy feeling. I had slept well and it was 8:30 so it was time to get up but I turned over and snuggled under my duvet and the dream came back to me.

You see I had a dream of my mother. Many times mom is in my dreams but this time was different, this dream she was upset with me. I could see her so clearly as she shook her finger at me and I recognized that look on her face as well, I had seen it many times as a child. She was talking to me but I couldn't hear her words, I could only see her expressions......instead of getting up I fell back to sleep. Mom came to me again in a dream, and this time I heard her very clearly and after she finished talking she hugged me as she said good bye, I didn't want her to leave and the tears were welling up in my eyes as she turned into a very intense green forest, then I woke up.

I was still trying to understand what she meant but she had made it very clear I was to start standing up for myself, she said I was too soft and let people take advantage of me and only I could stop this from happening. I wish I could say she was right but I honestly don't think so. I try not to be rude but I do speak up. I find it easier to speak up for other people than myself though, but I have always been this way. You know the "always cheering for the underdog type" and my mom knew this. I do think I figured out why I had this vivid dream though:

Just before going to sleep last night I received an e-mail confirming an order placed on the Internet with my credit card, I hadn't ordered anything and when I tried contacting the company I was unable to get through. I think having this on my mind before falling asleep caused me to dream. This morning I checked to make sure the Credit Card used had been cancelled as I requested a couple of months ago. I assumed it had been as they had sent me a replacement card, and yes it had been cancelled. I'm still trying to understand how an order can be confirmed on a cancelled credit card but they assured me no charges were made or even tried to be made on it. I pay my card off each month so I checked the computer a couple of times today to see if any charges have been made on my new card and no there have been none. I was wrong to give my credit card information out to anyone even if it were a family member....she was so right I have to learn to say no, as it has been nothing but problems since I did it.

Too all of you please don't make the mistake I did. I trust every one and I trusted this one member of my family and I was taken advantage of......there is no excuse for this and I am not making any. I was really dumb and I have learned a valuable lesson but I also lost trust in someone I loved very much. I thought I was helping, perhaps I did for a while.

I truly believe no one can base their happiness on someone else being unhappy, when they intentionally do this their own lives are mixed up, they are hurting emotionally and as a result until they make things right and resolve the issue then they will not know happiness.....so tonight I am praying that everyone I know and love will always do the right thing as I want only happiness for everyone.

God Bless...........and many, many hugs :-)