tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post8200692160811733855..comments2023-05-24T06:02:04.476-06:00Comments on ON MY OWN: Parents with a Broken HeartBerniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-29572029537605292009-09-21T08:15:22.927-06:002009-09-21T08:15:22.927-06:00Hi Susan, I so agree. He is now in a Mental Health...Hi Susan, I so agree. He is now in a Mental Health Hospital where he hopefully can receive help. His parents know he is safe, warm with a place to sleep and 3 meals a day. So sad really. I do hope you are continuing to get well...HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-76842695355507601342009-09-21T00:13:07.909-06:002009-09-21T00:13:07.909-06:00Oh how I feel for that family but I have to say th...Oh how I feel for that family but I have to say that I would have been pressing charges. The son most likely will not get the help he so badly needs unless the system forces him to.<br />Whether his parents can or should ever trust him again only time will tell.catsmumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01953101594940806384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-50413026826439377992009-09-19T12:13:09.495-06:002009-09-19T12:13:09.495-06:00June, I am sorry but I think blogger has gone a bi...June, I am sorry but I think blogger has gone a bit wild this morning, I only posted your comment once but I see it has showed up many times. <br />Loved rereading them anyway. Have a great weekend.....:-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-86213944634889116872009-09-19T01:37:29.282-06:002009-09-19T01:37:29.282-06:00Oh Bernie you are the sweetest lady.
I think you ...Oh Bernie you are the sweetest lady.<br /><br />I think you did the absolute best thing - people in such trauma need to have someone who will listen to them. That's a part of the working out what to do next I think.<br /> <br />This family would have to be in such turmoil. I hope they don't blame themselves in any way.<br /> <br />The thing about mental illness and drug problems (often chickens and eggs) is that it's so difficult to separate the person we know and love from the mental illness that is changing them. But that is our task.<br /> <br />Hugs to you especially.You have been such a help to these people. It is so important for people to be able to share at times like this. <br />June in OzJune Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-6033930449076993872009-09-19T01:36:06.797-06:002009-09-19T01:36:06.797-06:00Oh Bernie you are the sweetest lady.
I think you ...Oh Bernie you are the sweetest lady.<br /><br />I think you did the absolute best thing - people in such trauma need to have someone who will listen to them. That's a part of the working out what to do next I think.<br /> <br />This family would have to be in such turmoil. I hope they don't blame themselves in any way.<br /> <br />The thing about mental illness and drug problems (often chickens and eggs) is that it's so difficult to separate the person we know and love from the mental illness that is changing them. But that is our task.<br /> <br />Hugs to you especially.You have been such a help to these people. It is so important for people to be able to share at times like this. <br />June in OzJune Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-85711721927990001802009-09-19T01:30:11.345-06:002009-09-19T01:30:11.345-06:00Oh Bernie you are the sweetest lady.
I think you ...Oh Bernie you are the sweetest lady.<br /><br />I think you did the absolute best thing - people in such trauma need to have someone who will listen to them. That's a part of the working out what to do next I think.<br /> <br />This family would have to be in such turmoil. I hope they don't blame themselves in any way.<br /> <br />The thing about mental illness and drug problems (often chickens and eggs) is that it's so difficult to separate the person we know and love from the mental illness that is changing them. But that is our task. <br />Hugs to you especially.You have been such a help to these people. It is so important for people to be able to share at times like this. <br />June in OzJune Savillehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00194576632686640776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-56983383701542787262009-09-18T23:57:19.688-06:002009-09-18T23:57:19.688-06:00Drug addiction is an emotional problem and the gen...Drug addiction is an emotional problem and the gentleman needs psychiatric help and rehabilitation. There has to be something big going on within him, for him to have taken this huge a step. The young man is in dire need of help. <br /><br />What he unintentionally did was hurt his parents. But I hope the love of the parents supersedes the broken trust. Trust once broken cannot be mended but in rare cases when the offender ACTUALLY realizes his mistakes, and actually works towards undoing the damage, I guess it can come back, but I guess some scars or cracks will always remain.<br /><br />May God bless the familyTranquility Speakshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11973619033004372917noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-4131678734689503062009-09-18T19:27:53.486-06:002009-09-18T19:27:53.486-06:00Kay, I am not qualified at all except for being th...Kay, I am not qualified at all except for being their friend. So many times parents take the blame or are given the blame when their kids get into trouble. So not fair, personally I don't know of any parent who teaches their kids to take drugs....it is the full responsability of each person to make decisions and responsability for their own actions....doesn't take the sadness away though. Love sometimes for some people isn't enough.........:-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-71962112602444973002009-09-18T19:21:48.189-06:002009-09-18T19:21:48.189-06:00Tamara, I am praying for you and your family. Our ...Tamara, I am praying for you and your family. Our children today have so much/many things available to them and don't seem to accept/appreciate them by taking responsability. I agree you would only be enabling him and that will not help him to get better. Good Luck my friend, xoxo......HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-35435008845111840662009-09-18T19:17:11.331-06:002009-09-18T19:17:11.331-06:00Rebecca, I hope so. I wasn't really much help....Rebecca, I hope so. I wasn't really much help....I only cared for them and how they were feeling. A very sad situation.<br />Have a great weekend....:-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-91959146284432920922009-09-18T19:15:39.796-06:002009-09-18T19:15:39.796-06:00cinner, it must of been a horrible life for you......cinner, it must of been a horrible life for you....and not knowing if he dead or alive must be hard to live with. At least you were smart enough to move on and make a better life for yourself. One can only do so much.....HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-25130937298253766912009-09-18T18:33:12.080-06:002009-09-18T18:33:12.080-06:00Oh Bernie, what a heart-felt emotional post. I, to...Oh Bernie, what a heart-felt emotional post. I, too, have a son who is ill... he's currently in jail and has been there since Wednesday. He wants us to post the bond, but I am refusing. We've bailed him out so often in the past that I'm sure it's only enabled him. Sometimes life's decisions are difficult. I love my son, I just can't live with him. He's 29 and needs a life, a job and somewhere else to live. I'm rambling now, sorry.<br /><br />Hugz to you and your neighbors.Tamarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15487299243348055428noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-54871639789620940332009-09-18T10:57:30.401-06:002009-09-18T10:57:30.401-06:00I agree with you Bernie....broken trust is very di...I agree with you Bernie....broken trust is very difficult to mend. I'm sure your presence was a God-send to these poor folk, whether you realized it or not.Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08740950362293427086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-15396111202734743532009-09-18T01:35:53.355-06:002009-09-18T01:35:53.355-06:00Hello Bernie, my heart was saddened to read about ...Hello Bernie, my heart was saddened to read about this family. My ex husband got into drugs really badly. He had promise after promise, and lie after lie, He had gotten help once in jail, and he played the game really well, went to rehab in there, to him it was a game a way to get out of jail, the same night he got high as a kite. The bottom line is they are so ill,but they at that point can only think about themselves. we divorced and we split everything in half, he needed the car as he was working making 27 an hour. 3 months after we were divorced he sold everything he left with for next to nothing. I kinda kept tabs on him for a few years, he did phone me once asking me to help him, I told him I would drive him to rehab, we were almost there and he jumped out of the car! sometimes I still wonder if he is alive or what has happened to him. I don't believe it has been good. It is sad to see someone do this to himself, I believe if the friends don't charge him then he is still being enabled...He needs rehab and that is a tough road if they are not ready. I have not told anyone in blogland about this. It is something I don't like to talk about...The son will probably try to manipulate his parents, I pray they have the strength to deal with it. They are in my prayers for sure. Big Hug Bernie.Cindy https://www.blogger.com/profile/03552572705763406197noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-80252363363212494742009-09-18T00:40:45.317-06:002009-09-18T00:40:45.317-06:00sigh...trust....what a topic! On the note of the ...sigh...trust....what a topic! On the note of the son, they should press charges, they are his teacher and he must learn there are consequences to our actions, BUT they must also show they forgive him and want to help him through an obviously troubling time by being there with him, open and honest...I know they are the only ones to make this decision and hope the family bond can be rebuilt. In honesty, it is all a variable as to if the son will learn a lesson from this and choose not to live that life. So difficult. sigh... on a side note, not at all surprised they confided in you with open hearts and a cup a joe, they probably need to talk it over many times to come to a conclusion. You are much stronger than I, as I would have felt the need to voice an opinion. A great ear you have. Two ears for twice the listening, one mouth for half the talking.Kayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17353317664100788614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-69616445110695805262009-09-17T23:28:47.389-06:002009-09-17T23:28:47.389-06:00Eileen, I am sorry that you know first hand of thi...Eileen, I am sorry that you know first hand of this kind of situation...you and Ray are such wonderful parents and in the end this will be well known and respected by all your children. I am sure of this, love and kindness do not go unrewarded if not in this life then in the next.<br />This family needs prayers and I will always be their friend, I only wish I were more qualified to help with guidance and not only be able to do nothing to help but listen...Luv you.....:-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-30185138893358073602009-09-17T23:23:02.110-06:002009-09-17T23:23:02.110-06:00Jackie, thank you for joining us who are praying f...Jackie, thank you for joining us who are praying for this family.<br />Oh yes Jackie someone I loved and trusted more than life itself has hurt me and broke my trust for them ... that is another post for sometime when I am much stronger and able to share it.<br />I try always to be the best friend I can be, loyalty is important to me and I am sure most others are the same way, I am far from perfect but my word and respect for others is something that is very very important to me.<br />Welcome back, luv you....:-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-11724187270349733102009-09-17T23:15:15.238-06:002009-09-17T23:15:15.238-06:00Margie, I only wish I were more qualified, I could...Margie, I only wish I were more qualified, I could only be a supporting a friend. I had to word my post to respect our conversation but my heart is aching for that family.<br />I know you would of been there for them as I was, you are always kind and caring for your friends as well...Luv ya.....:-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-87146216434219278512009-09-17T23:12:24.485-06:002009-09-17T23:12:24.485-06:00Hi Gail, I could of used your wisdom and experienc...Hi Gail, I could of used your wisdom and experience last night, since I didn't I only listened and said very little. I also feel their son should be held accountable but how does a parent send their child to jail....I'm not sure I could do it. I still don't know what they have decided to do, I only know I am praying for all of them....:-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-85383347049351769382009-09-17T23:06:27.602-06:002009-09-17T23:06:27.602-06:00Jerelene, I am sorry it my label mislead you, I am...Jerelene, I am sorry it my label mislead you, I am so sorry....it certainly wasn't my intention, I have to more careful.<br />This is a very sad situation, their son is ill and he is making his parents almost as ill as he is. They certainly need our prayers, and thank you for joining me and Marcy in that department..<br />Glad your feeling better......HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-47931702859394183072009-09-17T23:00:51.799-06:002009-09-17T23:00:51.799-06:00Joan, I didn't want to repeat very much of wha...Joan, I didn't want to repeat very much of what they said to me last night but you hit it spot on, they were blaming so much on themselves trying to figure out what they did wrong....I think it is more society today than it is their parenting, I have met some beautiful people who have loved them children, taught them right from wrong but the child still chose drugs....don't know what the answers are Joan but they seem like loving and caring parents, perhaps there is no blame or no shame perhaps it was a stupid choice made by an addicted personality....I still think he should be held accountable for what he did, but who knows how this will end up........:-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-4935160295269847372009-09-17T22:52:21.840-06:002009-09-17T22:52:21.840-06:00Choices, thank you, this young man needs love for ...Choices, thank you, this young man needs love for sure but so does his parents....he has hurt them very much.......-) HugsBerniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03024565921761129108noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-59991522231419867772009-09-17T22:42:33.706-06:002009-09-17T22:42:33.706-06:00Well, my heart goes out to these parents, as Ray a...Well, my heart goes out to these parents, as Ray and I have been in this very situation (drugs/stealing from us/heartbreak). It is not easy to rebuild trust, in fact, for us the trust has not been rebuilt.<br />The love is there always, but the trust is not.<br />Sad situation, I really feel for these people and it was good of you to listen to them. Sometimes that is all we need, someone who will listen to us.<br />You are a good soul, Bernie.<br />Love,<br />EileenEileenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13679894230965874631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-58108234607619474652009-09-17T21:42:45.154-06:002009-09-17T21:42:45.154-06:00Bernie...when I read your blog, I literally put my...Bernie...when I read your blog, I literally put my hand over my mouth and said, "Oh NO!" when I read the part about the person that took their things was their son. What a double horrible blow to them. What would I do? I don't know that I could say until it happened. One has to make that decision for oneself...but I do know that having you there with them....listening to them....helps them carry it. You are a good friend....to all. I can't imagine anyone breaking your trust....ever. You are a God-loving woman...and I thank you for sharing their story with us. It is heartbreakig...and I hurt for those parents tonight. I'll pray for wisdom for them....to know what to do that will be the best for them and their son. <br />Sweet dreams, Bernie.<br />Smiles to you from JackieJackiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01214796594702277709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3332172694810833250.post-37476677833046801202009-09-17T20:52:53.874-06:002009-09-17T20:52:53.874-06:00How very heartbreaking for those parents.
It's...How very heartbreaking for those parents.<br />It's so very sad!<br />I'm sure it was very helpful having you there with them, you are such a good person, Bernie.<br />Bless you!<br /><br />margie:)Margiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14433759763753850718noreply@blogger.com