Wednesday, November 18, 2009

A Pink Carnation



Hello my friends, what a lovely surprise I received today when I answered the door bell and received a dozen carnations from a friend who had watched a curling game with Terry and I on Saturday.....it was such a thoughtful thing to do.

Our weather has been absolutely beautiful, yesterday it was 17C which broke all records for that date in November. Today was much cooler but still sunny. I have enjoyed these unexpected beautiful days as they are calling for snow on Saturday.

My class went well yesterday, I do have a concern over one patient but then that is me. I don't know how one can try and help someone yet detach from the illness. I have not been able to do this yet but Danielle says I will get use to these things and eventually be able too.......but I find myself getting very involved and the emotions are just a part of who I am. I am able to deal with the chronic illness patients really well but we have one who is terminal and I find myself wanting to do more for this patient than I am able too. Sometimes we just can't make things turn out the way we want to.....I have learned to appreciate each day and find comfort in my prayers. I only know that Danielle and I will do all we can to help him and his family, we had to read a book "A Good Death" as part of our own development but unless the patient brings this up to me I am not going to bring the subject up, at least not now. My burdens seem so light compared to others.

I hope you all are doing well and that your weather has been as lovely as we are having here in Canada......it is strange for November but very welcomed.

Good Night and God bless.......:-) Hugs

34 comments:

Teacher's Pet said...

Bernie....those flowers are lovely...and what a sweet thoughtful gift!
I love the table they are on....the angel on the table...your furniture...everything looks so pretty!!
I can see how it would be hard to detach oneself from patients that are terminally ill....or any patient...especially if they are yours...You are such a caring and compassionate person. Who could not love you...and I can't think of anyone you don't love. You are so sweet. Take care of you...and continue to enjoy the wonderful weather you are having!!
Smiles from Jackie

cinner said...

Berni, how very kind you are, and what a nice thing for the friend to send you flowers....Berni, Jackie had sent me an invitation to go on her blog, if you are in contact with her could you let her know that I can't get on it. Please let me know....Also I love your furniture! Your course sounds very interesting, I would find it hard not to get really attached.Be well. Big hugs.c

jinksy said...

The flowers look beautiful, but the kindness of the gift will remain when they are long gone...

Tranquility Speaks said...

Such beautiful flowers and what a comfortable looking sofa you have there :-)

If I were to do what you are doing Bernie, I'd have felt the same way. Emotions are part of being a woman I guess. It is very difficult to be insensitive. You sure are doing as much as you can. Death is something we've no control over. We must pass on when we've accomplished all that we came here to.

I am not sure if you'd agree with or believe it, but you could try reading Many Lives Many Masters by Dr. Brian Weiss as well. He is a doctor who practices in Miami and he believes in the Hindu philosophy of reincarnation.

Take good care of yourself Bernie. I am so happy you are experiencing good weather there! It's back to being sunny here as well :)

Eileen said...

Bernie, do you mean the patient themselves can't detach him/her self from the illness? They are too wrapped up in it? Or do you mean it's hard for you to detach?
I can see how attached you get to your patients, I could see that with the man last year, but that didn't stop you from helping him face his death and being there with his wife at the end (and even after wards).

As far as trying to move a patient along on his/her journey, I agree that is something they have to do for themselves, you can give a nudge here or there, but this is something only they can accept and allow into their hearts.

I'll join you in prayer that all works out.

Your carnations are so beautiful! And the perfect shade of pink for Fall!

God Bless you, Bernie.
Love to you, Eileen

Wanda said...

Good morning Bernie, your beautiful carnations are well deserved I'm sure for repayment of the hospitality shown by you and the good time had while there! Wish I were visiting you in your lovely livingroom.

Your weather is similar to ours of 57F today...17C equals 62F. It's wet from the slow steady rain we had yesterday.

I can imagine how hard it is to keep your emotions in check while trying to personally council someone, just hearing of the ordeals of others is enough to sadden one.

Has no one in the Village heard from Teresa? I don't have her e-mail address, wish she would comment to one of us!

Today I will be baking buttermilk biscuits to freeze and getting 2 gifts ready for the once a month get together Saturday.

Enjoy the good weather Bernie,
Luv and Smiles,
Wanda

Anvilcloud said...

You are doing a good thing -- difficult, but good.

Diana said...

You see Bernie you did make an impression,even if you didn't want to
hehehehe!
I've been trying to get Katie to guess what day we will get our first flurries bu she won't play! I say Nov. 27, Jake says Dec. 20th. Big stretch there!
I can't imagine trying to detach from a terminally ill patient. I guess it would just take years of practice but even then I don't know that I could do it. As long as you are doing the best that you can. You must be doing something right Bernie!
Love Di

The Retired One said...

The carnations are such a nice bright surprise, but I am sure you made her feel so at home that she really wanted to thank you for that.

With your huge heart and spirit, I am sure it is hard for you not to get to overly involved with your patients. It is hard on you, but like you said, it is who you are. One can never be wrong sharing the love....

I am glad Canada has had a few warm days. We are experiencing the same thing here. We usually have all kinds of snow on the ground by now, but we have rain today. I was hoping the snow would not come until after Thanksgiving here, because my daughter and family will be traveling up here...but it looks like it will start here on Tuesday or Wednesday.
Take care...sending love and hugs your way...

Gail said...

HI BERNIE

Lovely flowers for a lovely gal! :-)

And I SO understand the desire to do more for someone whose life is ending. Your love and kindness will be felt, will shine through - know that you are giving the most precious gift of all by your love and compassion.

Love Gail
peace.....

Granny on the Web said...

Thank you for the good wishes Bernie. The back will take its time as always..
We also in the UK are having a lovely sunny day.
Love Granny

Bernie said...

Hi Jackie, yes he was nice to send them to me....a lovely friend.
I am finding it impossible to detach the illness from the patient....it is quite emotional for me but they are so much more than their illness....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

cinner, I will let Jackie know for sure...I loved the surprise and the carnations....brought a smile to my face.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

jinksy, so true I will always remember this kind thought...Hugs

Bernie said...

Tranquility, I have read many lives, many masters.....many years ago, perhaps I should read it again.
How are you doing my friend....Hugs

Bernie said...

Eileen, it is me who has a hard time detaching.....I get so emotionally involved and put everything I have into their lives, I have to learn to help as I can and then let go, this is hard for me as I remember every one of the patient's I have worked with.....I do love them.
Love you, hugs to Jayden and Mia my friend....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Wanda, I made buscuits and squash soup for supper last night and it was so good....I did have enough left over for today as well.
I love the carnations and wish you could join me for coffee as well..perhaps some day.
I think Terri has contacted Jackie,.....you should e-mail her she may have some news.
It is very hard to detach from the patients and their illness for me, perhaps someday I will learn how.
Big hugs to Alivia....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi A/C, thank you, I receive so much from these patients in kindness, and aprreciation....it is easy to try and be there for them, only wish I could do more...Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Diana, you are funny....my friend Terry is laughing as you are my friend.
Tell Katie to play, it's fun, we use to do it all the time....
you are so right Di, it is almost impossible to detach from someone you care about and spend so much time with....luv ya....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Joan, the flowers came from a male friend who joined my friend Terry and I Saturday night to watch a curling game...we had fun.
I am not sure if I will ever learn to not get emotionally involved with the people I am with every week, they become a part of my life and I do care for them.
Does your daughter have far to travel? I hope the road stays clear for their drive...Luv ya....Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Gail, thank you for your kind words....how are you doing my friend......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Granny, please take care of yourself and give your back all the time it needs, so glad you are enjoying the beautiful weather as well. My sister in Scotland was saying how nice it has been there as well......:-) Hugs

Gloria said...

Bernie, it's a shame that you will have to change in order to handle the work you do but I guess it's a matter of self-preservation and I guess we do have to protect our hearts if we to remain strong to go forth and help so many others.

Lovely that your friend sent you flowers. Isn't that just a mark of the person others see in you?

Big hugs to you Bernie . . and good luck in keeping up the good good work alongside your caring spirit:-)

Rebecca said...

The carnations brightened MY day, too! Just seeing them on your table was cheerful.

Good to have the beauty around us (and inside us) to carry us through the difficulties that are inherent in life.

It is good that you are in touch with your emotions and can stand back now and then to analyze and "get a grip" so that you can return to class and patients with new courage and insight.

Hope your weekend brings simple pleasures your way.

Maggie May said...

Beautiful flowers.
I think you have to hold yourself a bit apart from terminally ill patients other wise you would go under. On the other hand you need to have empathy or you'd be no good at the job. I know you have that and you just need to get the right balance.

Nuts in May

Valerie said...

I've been AWOL as well Bernie, just catching up with a few friends. Those flowers are gorgeous, how thoughtful of the person to give them to you. I'm glad you're okay, take care. Hugs for you.

Queenmothermamaw said...

Thanks for your encouraging words. I know that I just in the Lord to always be with us no matter what direction our government takes. I am so happy for your gift of flowers. You are truly a gracious lady. It is wonderful work you do and yes, one must suffer with those folks. Compassion means to 'suffer with'. They don't expect you to cure them, they just want you to walk with them.
Blessings to you dear sister.
QMM

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Bernie...what a beautiful bouquet! And the room they grace is gorgeous! I should have known your surroundings would reflect your beautiful spirit!!! And I don't think it will ever be easier to care for the terminally ill...your heart will always long to do more because you are such a loving, thoughtful and merciful person!!! And I am so glad you are!!!! Those patients are so very lucky to have someone like you in their lives!!! Love to you, my dear friend! ~Janine XO

Bernie said...

Gloria, I don't have to change my work, I have to learn not to become so emotionally involved and be satisied knowing I have done all that I could of....easier said than done......:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Rebecca, the carnations are even prettier today....I love them.

I think we all have to step back once in a while and have a look at what we are trying to achieve...as long as I do any/everything with my heart full of love I feel I will make the right decisions.

Have a great weekend....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Maggie, I have been given the book to read, "A good Death" as part of being able to teach the class....it has brought me both sadness but comfort, I am still learning so much but oh how I love my terminally ill patients... I want for them whatever it is they want....and yes I do need to step back every once in a while so I can be a stronger advocate for them. Stay well my friend...:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Hi Val, I really love freshly cut flowers on my tables, and these are so pretty....I do have lovely friends.
So glad your back.....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Peggy, I have no doubt that your strong faith will see you through any and everything.....
I love my carnations and I love my friends, I am very blessed.
Have a great weekend....:-) Hugs

Bernie said...

Janine, I receive more blessings and have learned so many lessons from these beautiful patients...they are so free with their love and emotions when they travel their final journey...I do become too emotionally involved but do take time to step back so when I return I have more energy and tons of love to share with them. Stay well my friend...Hugs